Gratitude

Greetings all,

Today, in the United States, many of us celebrate Thanksgiving. For our family, it is not about celebrating the traditional story told of coming to America, conquering the land and its people, then sitting down for a shared meal. 

For us, it is a day to come together with family and friends, express gratitude, eat not only turkey and the favorite childhood dishes but also lentil balls, vegan gravy and mashed potatoes, and of course pie. Always, pie.

Some years it might be more challenging to open our hearts to gratitude as we experience our losses and challenges in life, but there are invariably people and things that we find we can lift up. Today, I acknowledge and thank you, the reader. Thank you for taking the time to read, comment, and like, however it is you interact with me, throughout the year and years that I have been offering my thoughts and reflections. It truly becomes a shared journey between us.

Good wishes to you in this day, wherever you are, whatever you find in your gratitude list, whomever you find in your day who offers you kindness and compassion.

I offer you a poem, a bit of my expressed gratitude. As I have been absorbed in the writing of my El Camino journey with my sister, a little poem floated in one day while I was waiting for my client to appear on Zoom. I hurriedly wrote it out and laughed out loud when I came to the last line.

One Marvelous Big Toe


Little self learns to walk following
her sister’s lead. Up on two legs,
one foot, one foot, plop.

It looks so easy, now up, fall,
up, fall. Then, one day, she
pulls herself up with strength
and determination. 

She does it! with pride, a smile,
looking around for approval,
seeing clapping hands, laughter,
and happy delight. 

What a fun trick. She can do this
and make others happy—until,
one day she will recognize 
making herself happy with:
run, skip, walk, bike, and kick.

Sometimes a kick in anger.
Sometimes a dance with joy.
Sometimes a run with fear.
And sometimes, a bike ride with abandon.

There is so much to express
with legs and feet making her
own vehicle of transportation.

For now, little self plops down on the floor
rocking onto her back, feet flying in the air, with
her foot coming to her mouth.

She finds comfort and peace
in a sloppy, happy kiss to her 
one marvelous big toe.

@Janis Dehler

On Empty Feeling Full

Words are the most powerful thing in the universe… Words are containers. They contain faith, or fear, and they produce after their kind.”

—Charles Capps

I sit and stare at a blank screen trying to conjure up words, craft a sentence, develop a theme. I find nothing new arises, except the awareness that I have used so very many words in my writing over these past days.

Early in the week, my words wove into a tribute to my mother on the 100th anniversary of her birth, followed by my El Camino memories crafting into a broader memoir, then continuing the arduous task of writing my life and complicated ancestry into a more developed timeline in story form for my kids and grandkids.

I realize that within this feeling of empty there resides a deep satisfaction in the artistry of words, flowing like a rhythmic dance, whether they mean anything to anyone else does not intrude. It is the feeling when I am lost in painting and it all connects, when the spices are just right in the dish crafted for dinner, or the tree, the sun, and the shadow align in perfect symmetry for the photo I snap.

Then, there is a moment of empty, a day of rest, or possibly the eternity hidden within the pause between each breath­­—a long moment to take it in, deep within, and ready myself for the next flash of inspiration. We can’t consume so fully every day. We need rest, contemplation, review, as a time to pull it all together and see the whole.

The truth of this comes to me as it has been a span of four years since I walked El Camino and the full review of my blogs, journal, and post trip review, reveal to me what I could not see then. They point to where I am today. They beg me to go deeper into an event revealing something in me or other that I could not see before. The pause has deepened my experience. The space of time has opened my heart.

Today, empty is a feeling of full.