August 31, 2025, Common Ground UMC: Paul’s Quattro
Philippians 4:5-9 Let your gentleness be evident to all. God is near. Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.7 And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. 9 Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me or seen in me—put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you.”
Intro
I invite us now to each take a breath into all the emotions reverberating from the tragic loss of innocent life this past week and the serious woundings of so many in varied ways in the Annunciation Church Community. As we enter our own worship time here this morning, we hold them in our hearts as brothers and sisters with the pain and loss that seers the heart.
We’ll begin our worship this morning with a poem from the Persian lyric poet and Sufi mystic, Hafiz, who wrote this sometime during the 14th century. I dedicate this reading to Fletcher Merkel and Harper Moyski whose laughter was extinguished and to all the wounded and the loved ones whose laughter is now stifled in incredible loss and trauma.
Laughter
What is laughter? What is laughter?
It is God waking up! O it is God waking up!
It is the sun, poking its sweet head out
From behind a cloud
You have been carrying too long,
Veiling your eyes and heart.
It is Light breaking ground for a great Structure
That is your Real body – called Truth.
It is happiness applauding itself and then taking flight
To embrace everyone and everything in this world.
Laughter is the polestar
Held in the sky by our Beloved,
Who eternally says,
“Yes, dear ones, come this way,
Come this way towards Me and Love!
Come with your tender mouths moving
And your beautiful tongues conducting songs
And with your movements – your magic movements
Of hands and feet and glands and cells – Dancing!
Know that to God’s Eye,
All movement is a Wondrous Language,
And Music – such exquisite, wild Music!”
O what is laughter, Hafiz?
What is this precious love and laughter
Budding in our hearts?
It is the glorious sound
Of a soul waking up!
Sermon
To illustrate this poem by Hafiz and this text from Paul, which may appear at first glance to be unrelated, I looked way back when, back in the day, about 56 years ago when I was 18 years old.
I was in my second year of college at, what was then called, St. Cloud State College. One day, I was invited to go with three other girls on a car ride north, up to the town of St. Joseph or St. John’s University (I honestly don’t remember that part of the story) but either way it was to be about a 20-to-30-minute drive. I didn’t really know any of these girls other than the one who invited me and was the driver, and even she was merely a brief acquaintance, and I don’t remember her name.
I don’t remember why the ride happened, what the actual purpose was, but I do remember the car was being borrowed from the driver’s boyfriend and it was a beautiful day to be out for a ride.
We piled into the car, and I sat behind the front seat passenger side. We drove up Division Street which brought us through St. Cloud and on toward St. Joseph. When we got on the open road beyond town, the driver tapped the brake to slow down behind another car and nothing happened. The brakes didn’t engage. She started to panic, switched lanes, kept hitting the brake and decided to cut onto the first road into St. Joe. We sped through town, and the driver realized the danger of that with stop signs, cars, and pedestrians. She took a sharp squealing right and headed back to the freeway. What I soon saw from my line of vision was a semi headed north, with us headed east, and by my estimation we were going to meet and crash.
Now, you can imagine, there was a good deal of screaming going on in the car. I was feeling bewildered as to how I got into this situation in the first place, especially not knowing any of these people with whom, I believed, I was going to die. I was feeling helpless to do anything. Not finding screaming very useful, I felt myself soften. I felt myself let go. I sat back and closed my eyes to whatever was going on and what I believed was going to happen, and I breathed. It’s difficult to fully capture what I felt in that moment, but it was as if a cloud of comfort descended on me, and I simply breathed.
Suddenly, I both felt and heard a crash, our car did a 180 and we were headed back into St. Joe when the car died. We did not hit the semi. An older couple heading south towards St. Cloud to a Dr. appointment became our dismayed saviors by being our point of impact before we reached the semi. We all got out of the car stunned and uninjured to face the equally stunned and angry couple.
Someone nearby had called the police, and he was instantly at our side. We told our story and in the telling the tears started flowing and then the four of us erupted, in hysterical laughter. We could not contain it. We squealed and were simply overcome with laughter.
Of course, the couple we crashed into were livid and rightly so. Here they were going on their merry way when these hysterical girls ruined their day. The officer kindly explained to them that our laughter was both from relief in being alive and from the release of adrenaline. “Your car saved their lives,” he explained. We all profusely expressed our sorrow for what had happened and tried to stop laughing, but it was simply too hard to contain.
Have any of you here ever thought about your own death, your own passing if you will, into another realm? What will it be like? When will it happen? How will it happen? Yes?
Well, I have, too. Then and especially working in a Hospice setting for almost 20 years. Death, the ultimate letting go into the peace that Paul speaks of and death, so unique to everyone.
I wonder, will it be as peaceful as death coming from here as I am moving toward that moment of meeting. Will I be as accepting? Will I feel at peace or try to hang on? Try to fight back? Try to avoid?
Paul wrote the letter to the Philippians while he was in prison, to convey his joy and gratitude for the Philippian church. He speaks of joy, unity, humility, and faith, even in the face of suffering. Paul speaks to what it means to be a Christian, and as in many a faith or spiritual practice— I believe we all reach the universal question, does my life reflect my inner beliefs and the teachings I have learned? Does my life, my everyday actions, reflect my core beliefs, the God seed within me, and my journey to be fully human?
We all learn daily what it is to be kind, to be giving, to be thoughtful of others. We also see what it is to be rude, spiteful, jealous, and self-centered. We learn from each other and from our experiences…but it is in the actual practice of the virtues we so admire and aspire to that these come more natural to us. They become embodied over time. And that is what I believe it means to live into the fullness of who we really are. It’s a life of practice in connecting our inner beliefs and the God seed within us to the life we are living.
So many of us learned to look from the outer to the inner. Taking our cues from “authority” out there, however that is experienced. The rules so to speak. Paul turns the table on this but doesn’t leave us flailing about, he gives us a blueprint.
As I looked at Paul’s short text and I narrowed it down to key words, I found what was left was a quattro, I call it Paul’s Quattro, speaking to us of the practice of centering in prayer, meditation, or contemplation however we name that inner experience, and finding the peace that resides deep within each of us. Paul’s quattro directs us to look within to find peace and it looks simple: feel, pray, give thanks, feel peace. Feel, pray, thanks, peace. Got it. But in practice, we all know, it can be so much more challenging.
So, let’s dig into Paul’s quattro to see the journey from feel to peace.
First, we acknowledge the feeling, name it, identify it. Paul names anxiety, but there might be grief, anger, overwhelm, pain, resentment, fear, exclusion, shame…. What is it, in this moment, that I am feeling inside of me that needs healing, soothing, or opening to?
At times this can be the stopping point, not being able to name or recognize what one is feeling. Feelings are complex and multi layered and they can be so big, we are even at times afraid to admit the feeling. We might have to patiently sit and find the words as we allow the feeling to surface. But we want to name it with honest assessment, and without judgement. It just is, in our awareness, and in our naming.
Very much like the Bluey films we watched here, but it can’t be overstated. If we’re unconscious, unaware of how we’re feeling, the challenge of naming our feeling, brings us to a false start. We move through life and unconsciously react to experiences rather than consciously respond authentically to life. And that, I believe, is what Paul is trying to teach.
We feel anxiety or anger or fear in our body, but it’s really a head game with the mind racing every which way. To ease a feeling, we need to connect with our body. And we best achieve this through the doorway of breath.
We begin by acknowledging the feeling, whatever it is, then with a pause and a breath we drop into our body, and on with each measured breath as we move further into our heart and the truth that resides within this pain.
Say I am exclaiming, “I am so angry” and then blah blah, blah mentally racing on and on with the many stories we create around our anger or any feeling; it only builds. When we say with first taking a breath, “I am feeling so angry” and take a deep slow breath, then drop into another and on down into the body, we soften around the pain of our difficult emotion. We become curious. What was the trigger? What might be behind this feeling, what is needed, or hoped for, or desired. In intense emotion we tend to hold our breath or breathe very shallow, and all the energy is raised, and our mind is racing.
Once we’ve honestly named and accepted and breathed into our feeling state, we can then open our hearts in what we term prayer.
#2 What is prayer but opening our heart. Rollin McCraty with the HeartMath Institute states that the heart is the largest electromagnetic field in the body, 60 times greater in amplitude than the brain. Imagine that. Think of the power in that organ.
What is my heart, your heart radiating in that field? What are we broadcasting out into the world without even realizing it? What are billions in this world sending out in the chaos, the tension, war, famine, and suffering and, but also joy in new life, love, and accomplishment. We feel the reverberation.
So, it’s about naming but equally important it is about opening our heart to more of what we’re feeling and letting go of what is not mine but have picked up. It may seem counter intuitive to open more to the feeling as we’re fearful of these challenging emotions like anxiety, but surprisingly the naming with breath is the softening. Not all of it, but a start. Naming with breath brings us further into our body. In naming we ground ourselves, opening to more depth. In naming, there is a wounded part of us that feels heard, that we can care for, and nurture.
Sometimes we may need professional help to assist and support, but breathing into the pain however that is named and connecting to our body and heart allows us to move through other feelings held around it, like uncertainty, overwhelm, and we get curious and go deeper and maybe find a memory from long ago that has colored our world view, then deeper there is also love, forgiveness, compassion, kindness, hope, integrity, not only for self but for other.
Through prayer we open ourselves to our own story and this is how we become co-creators as we open ourselves to more of who we are at the core of self. It changes us and our life experience. It changes how we navigate the world around us.
When we’re opening in prayer, we are not only putting our plea out to the universe, but we’re also offering our plea within to ourselves. It’s not a love that is outside us that we beg for, reach for, or plea for, but a love that fills our very being, what we were born from and in, and is within everyone, ourselves included. The magnitude of that awareness of self and other from an open heart radiates in that expansive electromagnetic field.
Paul is teaching how to open to this love. To Spirit. We are never outside of it. We simply perceive so.
#3-And, from that place of love, we give thanks. Once we open beyond our thinking mode to what we feel, and then open to Spirit/Creator in prayer, we are moved to offer gratitude. Like the praise hymns of the Psalms, we acknowledge and give thanks.
Gratitude is our connection, our recognition, of that which we call God, Creator, Jesus, Angels, Spirit. Our heart opens and it’s as if we can’t stop singing or chanting, exclaiming, or praising. It’s our laughter for being heard and spared to live another day.
Gratitude awakens an energy within us that grounds our experience and opens us to abundance. It’s bare feet on the grass. It’s dancing a whirling dervish. It becomes our halleluiahs. It’s us bursting forth into laughter, as Hafiz states, “it is a soul waking up.”
#4-Then we allow Peace. Whether it’s the peace at the end of a day or at the end of a life, we know where our journey has taken us for the naming of it. For the fullness of the experience. For the allowance of opening, feeling, naming, being present within this body vehicle we were given.
We live the questions Paul puts forward and know more clearly how our lives reflect our core beliefs within this full life on earth.
Back to St. Joseph and after all the information was exchanged between us and the colliding couple, the officer directed us back to our car and said, “Let me show you what to do if you ever get caught in a situation like this again.” He reached his hand to the ignition and said, “Turn the key to off.” We looked at each other in disbelief that it could be that simple and the laughter started up again. We could not believe it could have been that simple. Just turn it off.
There are many days when we are filled with uncomfortable emotion, sometimes just turning it off is a good option. Turn off any catalyst. Turn off berating the self, turn off and instead allow a bit of laughter. I know first-hand that laughter can feel harsh when we are in significant pain. It can feel like a betrayal to the experience or a person but in essence, it brings our soul alive again, little by little, as we learn to trust laughter and allow for our waking up.
At the end of the day, none of us will get it perfect. Life and emotions, and relationships can be a mess. We’re continually learning along the way to our last breath and that is the great gift of life. It’s not a one and done deal. We get many opportunities along the way to try again. And that’s what Paul’s quattro is for us, a foundation or a blueprint to build from.
A blueprint to bring us to the heart, to open the heart through identifying our state of consciousness, our prayer and contemplation, our depth of gratitude, and our desired state of peace. To change the frequency of the heart and be aware of what we are broadcasting out to others, Paul tells us to think about all that is lovely, admirable, and praiseworthy. Raise our thoughts. Spread joy and love through this amazing electro-magnetic field.
Paul’s quattro is not a linear path but a spiral. As we move through life we grow and learn and there are times when we realize we have not laughed in some time, or we realize our heart feels closed, or we can’t find anything to feel grateful for, or we try but we just can’t feel peace. It is then we circle back to the question, “What do I feel?” Or we start listing all the things and people in our life that we can’t live without and express our gratitude. We begin once again to open to love.
We are never quite ready for that gut punch that comes seemingly out of nowhere as it takes our breath and leaves us in pain and heartache. I believe, with an already embodied practice such as Paul’s Quattro, we can open more quickly to divine guidance needed to navigate these powerful emotions.
I believe we very much need Paul’s quattro in our world. Not defined by a religion but by human decency. Human sovereignty. Paul’s quattro may never achieve the acclaim of the trifecta eat, pray, love, but as we feel, open in prayer, give thanks, and be peace, we hold the unique opportunity to live at a soul guided level. Not a sound bite level. That is what Paul offers as a base to live this spirit/physical journey. Whether that be in a moment, a day, a year, or a lifetime, it is all one and the same. It simply becomes the truth of our life as we laugh, dance, and sing to our final breath.
Benediction:
As we move forward in this day, into emotions that can at times be turbulent, let us remember to breathe, open to divine guidance as we enter our hearts, offer deep gratitude for all that is, as we move ever closer to the fullness of peace.
©Janis Dehler
August 25, 2024
Sermon for the Common Ground CommunityFound in the Heart of Transformation
Romans 12:2 Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.
The Gospel of Mary : “He has prepared us so that we might become fully human.”
Karen King, an historian of religion at Harvard, dates the origin of Mary Magdalene’s text to the first half of the second century. It is understood to be written by the followers of Mary Magdalene, known then as Miriam of Magdala, the apostle of Jesus, and known by some to be the most beloved disciple.
This gem was discovered in an antiquities market in Cairo in 1896 but was not made public until 1955 when it was included in the Nag Hamadi Scriptures. I included it here as it is another way of understanding the transformation that Jesus is calling for in his followers; It is the only female voice in the Gospels; and I personally find it important to ponder this gospel as the early Christian movement, while taking place within a patriarchal context, was supported by diverse groups including women who not only followed Jesus’ teachings but were intrinsically included in the stories of Jesus. These women held a certain level of spiritual authority that was not highlighted over the centuries.
A side note: It occurred to me as I was writing and researching to dedicate this sermon to my mother who was named at her birth, Mary Magdalene Rita Bourque. Now how do you carry a name like that as a teen, in the 1920’s and 30’s when the only way Mary Magdalene was identified since the year 591, when, despite evidence to the contrary in the Bible, Pope Gregory labeled Mary Magdalene a “sinful woman”, in other words, prostitute. For my mom, her given name was a place of shame for her, and she legally changed it to simply Rita Madeline.
First let’s consider three questions:
What is transformation?
How do we encourage and open to transformation and the renewal of the mind so that we might know the will of God.
What does suffering have to do with transformation, and compassion?
First, to define transformation, we might think of the metamorphosis of a chrysalis to a butterfly—an amazing transformation, including a great struggle to be released from its casing. That might sound dramatic for us in a human body, but we can all probably think of people we know, or ourselves, who have experienced a deep transformational experience. While still in body, with the same hair color, body, and all, we now see or experience something different that we can’t quite put our finger on. Maybe it is in the eyes, or the energy that we sense. Something has changed—transformed.
We might think of transformation in the words change, become, growth, awaken, renew, bring to life. There is energy of movement inherent in all these words. Nothing is static. As we are all energy so too is transformation—it is all encompassing. Think of a flower in a garden that is dry from lack of rain. It appears shriveled, it struggles to find moisture, struggles to provide beauty because it is merely trying to survive its suffering. We add water to help it along and the stem stands taller. A bud begins to open into fullness. Growth and change happen, and we feel delight that we could help the process of transformation from a dry dying plant to a thriving open budded beauty.
And this is how we assist in our transformation. We enlist the help of the divine and open to grace. The water of life that renews and refreshes us and encourages our growth, comes from Spirit. We strengthen our ability to connect with spirit and strengthen our spiritual muscle through what we call spiritual practices.
Our spiritual practices—prayer, meditation, reading spiritual texts as examples, are the legs we stand on that anchor us in the deepest part of self or Soul, spirit, God, Atman, Brahman. When we anchor into our hearts, we help ourselves from letting go into fear and turmoil. As the outer roar increases, we find silence within. As the fires burn outside, we refresh in the waters within.
Our final question: What does transformation into compassion have to do with suffering? The last thing I want to hear when I am in a challenging situation are the words, “You will learn from this.” or “You will grow from this.” or “This will change you.” It’s too soon to think how I will grow or change into, when my sole thoughts are how to survive what it is that I am struggling with. Jumping too soon to what we will learn, cuts off the experience, the process, and the ongoing learning. The learning and the transformation will come in their time.
But whether we realize it or not, we can trust that something does happen, something shifts within us. It’s the nature of experience which is fluid and alive. In a challenging situation it is difficult to stay the way we are. We find there is choice: We can bring more consciousness to the experience, or we might fall into a reactive mode and suppress, act out, or deny, maybe push back. And that is okay too as sometimes we are just not ready.
It is always our choice. Maybe it will be years later, but generally we look back and see some connection to who we are now and where we have come from. Because all we are experiencing is energy. Energy of emotion flowing through, energy of thought, energy of love, energy of spirit. And, as we allow the flow, we change.
And that brings us to the question: is suffering necessary in our growth and transformation? Pain and suffering can cause us to call out for help, or to seek inner guidance. They can be thought of as portals to the heart. Suffering can awaken us to our life and the why of existence. With the proper care, we are brought to life, so to speak. We don’t grown and manifest from the chaos of suffering, but when we open to our experience of suffering.
I came upon a quoted passage from spiritual teacher, Eckhart Tolle, that speaks of suffering. He states it is a yes and no answer. Suffering is necessary for our growth in depth as a human being and without that depth we would not have humility or compassion. Suffering cracks the shell of the ego. Then, he states, there comes a time when it is not necessary. It has served its purpose. I loved this final statement, “Suffering is necessary until you realize it is unnecessary.” Until we don’t need a suffering experience to remind us of love and compassion as we always are in love and compassion, and we don’t need suffering to be our guide.
Suffering, transformation, and compassion were all central to Jesus’ teaching and are at the heart of all the ascendant masters who have walked this earth since and before. It is our transformation within, at the level of the Self, the soul, the God seed, that opens us more and more to compassion, to becoming one with all life. Jesus offered healing and his words challenged people to wake up, pay attention, be open to being transformed. But the questions from those who followed him show that they misunderstood his words and held a desire to know, not only how to do this, but what did it mean?
As I moved out of my teen years, I wanted an adult understanding of the spiritual life, the tools to discern a life direction, deepen a relationship with self and other, be guided by an inner voice—my Higher Self. Where is that voice? How do I know to trust it? What does it mean to be transformed by the renewal of the mind as Paul states? What does it mean for my thoughts? My creativity? What do I do?
So, I went looking elsewhere, through Buddhism, Hinduism. Sufism, Judaic teachings, earth-based spirituality, the yogic tradition, finding a guru, receiving a transmission of my spiritual name and a mantra, and learned to meditate.
Now, for the past two months, I have been living deeply with Jesus, his followers, his mission, and the words suffering, transformation, and compassion. If you ever want a transformative experience, I recommend choosing a word of high resonance, like these, or love, peace, forgiveness for example and live and breathe your word for a month or two. Write about it, research it, dream about it, let it wake you up at night. You will see your word appear everywhere. For me, it has been a full circle of healing experience back to experiencing Jesus and his mission on earth, and my early religious upbringing in a new way, from a new perspective, and greater understanding.
I was witness to a transformational experience that has stayed with me over the years and is a most memorable moment in my hospice work, and there are many, but this one stood out in its sacredness. I was reminded of it when I read the words spoken by Mary Magdalene to the disciples, “He has prepared us so that we might become fully human.”
I will call the patient, Martha. She was young, in her 30’s, toward the end of her life and having a difficult time with agitation, anxiety, fear, restlessness, and crying out, day and night. She was supposed to be in bed as she was very weak, but she could not be still. She was found wandering throughout the house and outdoors as all hours, day and night. The family was distraught and exhausted as this had been going on for weeks.
When I heard about her in our team meeting, I offered to bring in guided imagery to see if that might be helpful. I brought a CD titled Death and Dying. After sitting with Martha and getting a sense of her inner state, I asked her if she would like to listen to some calming music and words. She agreed. As the guided imagery started, I watched Martha closely. She was still in a state of restless agitation, rolling back and forth and moaning, and I was feeling concerned and wondering if this was just too much and maybe I should turn off the CD. Then the meditation guide stated, “You know how to do this, you were born knowing how to die.”
In that instant, Martha became still. Her eyes were closed, intent on listening, her head twisted toward the sound of the voice. Her breathing slowed, her arms gently rested at her sides, and she appeared peaceful. I continued to sit and observe her until I felt it was safe to leave her alone. I instructed the family to play the CD as often as they felt it was needed. I quietly said goodbye to Martha and left.
The next day the family reported that Martha died peacefully. A transformative moment for Martha as she let go into the final path of her life, her final breath in peace, having been affirmed—you know how to do this. All I could think when I heard of her death is that in that transformative moment, Martha felt seen and affirmed. Martha, you know you how to do this. It is alright. It is good.
I share this story as we are all on the road to our last breath and those of us here who arrive Sunday after Sunday to a community of faith do so because we are seeking both a personal and a global understanding of the spiritual life within this earth-bound home. That is the nature of living as we witness every day in life around us. We each have our struggles, our sufferings, that move us in directions we had not anticipated. We have our relationships that we don’t want to leave. We can’t imagine not being here. As people of spirit, we want to live with peaceful hearts, die with peaceful hearts, and know the transformation that Jesus so clearly wants for us, and guides us to.
When we look to the Gospel of Mary, the story begins as Jesus, after his death, appears to his disciples. He answers their questions, then instructs them to go out and preach and then he leaves their sight. The disciples become agitated and cry in fear thinking, if we go out and preach publicly, we will be treated as Jesus was in his death. A discourse ensues and Mary begins to comfort them and states, “He (Jesus) has prepared us so that we might become fully human.” In other words, you know how to do this. It is within you to go on your journey. Be fully who you are, the God seed within you.
According to religious historian, Karen King, the original Greek word, Anthropos, was translated to the words, “fully human” but a more accurate translation would be “a completed human being.” One who is rooted in the Good or God meaning the individual has found the voice of God within, or gnosis. What a difference in translation. I find the addition of that one letter, d, which changes complete to completed, to be quite a dramatic change in meaning. It moves us from the physical human to the spiritual human. It’s like we’ve been worked with and attended to in our journey of awakening. Completed reeks of energy and movement, or process as well as rooted in goodness.
Jesus prepares us to be a completed human being, rooted in the God—all love. This is what she states to the disciples, and this is what is desired for us. Our completion. Our transformation, not necessarily at the moment of death, but now, living into our completion as we live our life, deepening compassion.
The most life-giving learning in my spiritual searching is sadhana, a Sanskrit word translated as spiritual practice. Which is also the spiritual name given to me by Amritanandamyi Devi, known as Amma. Sadhana, a name that after some 20+ years, I think of daily, practice living into, and wonder what that name means for me. My name, reminder to be conscious. Sadhana: the practices of meditation, reciting a mantra, chanting, learning to sit in silence, the practice of reading spiritual texts, like the Christian practices of Lectio Divina or the Bhagavad Gita, prayer, contemplation, repeating the name of Jesus, or Allah, or Krishna, praying the rosary, or with a beaded mala. For some it might be movement, sacred dance, or music that opens the heart and brings one into inner silence, or art, or drumming. As a community, opening the doors to the homeless, bringing food to the homebound.
All are ways to train the mind so that we are not conformed to this world, as Paul states, but we are transformed by the experiences of this world. Meditation is the classic prime spiritual practice but truly anything can become a spiritual practice as we bring conscious awareness to our thoughts and actions, and notice when we fall back into reactive or negative thoughts. Simply notice, not judging ourselves or other. Because it is all practice. It is not spiritual perfection, but spiritual practice.
In quieting our thoughts, we learn to redirect our mind to the heart, the portal to compassion. To open our hearts, to hear the inner voice of Higher Self, our Soul. To think with our hearts. The mind is analytical and judges. The ego wants us to believe all the thoughts that roam through. Whereas thinking with our heart is one of inclusion, oneness, and centering. Not with emotion as we typically think of our heart, but of wisdom and compassion.
As scripture tells us from the past and science tells us in the present, all life is evolving, growing, and becoming. As humans we have the unique ability and responsibility to bring consciousness to our life experiences. And that is not to say this is an easy task by any means. It can be a part of our suffering experience to look deeply and honestly within our own hearts. But when we do, we can feel gratitude for the whole of our journey. The joy as well as the sorrow. Compassion for all beings, all life.
We are each unique in our incarnation on earth. Different jobs to do, different cultural norms, and languages, but we all, as a spark of God, are here to return in and through that spark to all that is, to bring all back to wholeness. I believe, the more we center in heart, we will know our path. Origin and goal are one. We know how to do this. We were born from oneness, and we know how to return to oneness.
We see each other as other. Different from me. Not as good as me. Not understanding as I do. Or we see each as better than me. Denying my own worth, agency, and ability. Yet, we are all one, from the same source, from one being, born knowing how to return, knowing how to leave this body, knowing our purpose. And yet, all has been forgotten. So, we seek to be transformed to light and love. To compassion. To remember.
I find inspiration from this quote from spiritual and psychological life coach, Dr. Michelle Casto: “The time is now for transformation. It is a new era, and we are poised with the opportunity to bring in new consciousness and co-create a new reality. Why? Because the light within each of us has been turned on, and it’s our job to turn that light on brighter and brighter until all false thought forms dissolve in the light of our truth.”
Chaos captures our attention so strongly these days because it is blaring so loudly as so much of our world is in transition. I believe there are more of us who hold light. As fear rises around us, let us ground ourselves by staying close to heart, join one to the other, and open to our own transformation of living more fully in heart energy. The heart, this magnificent electrical system that can light the world.
Amen. And so, it is.
August 18, 2024, Common Ground UMC: Found in the Heart of Suffering
Romans 8: 22-23
“We know that the whole creation has been groaning in labor pains until now; and not only the creation but we ourselves, who have the first fruits of the spirit…”
2 Timothy 1:7
“For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but one of power, love, and sound judgement.”
Suffering is complicated, complex, and a challenging topic. Jesus and Buddha dedicated their lives to suffering. If you look up the word suffering, you get a very clean concise definition: a state of pain, distress, or hardship. And we know, suffering can be a whole lot more and a whole lot messier.
The passage from Paul, written over 2000 years ago, could have been written today, this time of life, now, on this planet. We don’t need to look far, or engage in many conversations, to hear of pain and suffering in humans, “growing in labor pains”. Life is tough and because we’re conscious, we think about what we live through and live in—our relationships, worry for the future, regret for the past, and the variety of losses, that at times, don’t allow us to move forward. Our mind wants to judge everything as good or bad, someone is right, someone is wrong, someone or something is at fault as we seek to find someone or something to blame.
The world is complicated; suffering is getting more intense as we witness daily: war, starvation, and migration. All the while, we experience challenges in our day-to-day living such as health issues, relationships, work, and our grief, loss, and general living.
A challenging experience can grow into suffering through our thoughts which include the stories we create and tell ourselves. We might revisit the body memories of old wounds, our perceptions, our building resentment, and our pride. We get caught in loops in our thoughts that can feel like living in a prison of our mind without the freedom of clear thinking and decision making. Sometimes our suffering feels worth it as we endure for a larger purpose. Sometimes our suffering becomes so familiar, it feels like home, and we cling to it, not knowing how to let go. And sometimes one might lose their life to suffering.
I looked to theologian Marcus Borg for insight. He states, “Life is about a relationship with God (Spirit) that involves us in a journey of transformation.” Spirit and compassion were central to Jesus’ life and teachings. Theologian and philosopher, Pierre Teilhard de Chardin said, “We are spiritual beings having a human experience.” Now, if I wrap these two ideas together, I will say, we are living a life which can include experiences of hardship, pain, and suffering as well as beauty. All are part of a life lived as we deepen our experience in Spirit, to evolve and to transform into fully compassionate beings. Being human is a relational experience with Self, spirit, the God seed within, and with other humans in community.
Rather than viewing life as a multi-faceted experience that can include suffering, many of us, me included, learned a faulty theology with a convoluted idea that suffering is necessary—to achieve perfection, holiness. The image of God was one who could control—intervene or not—which put the concept of God and suffering in a confusing light. I also learned that God is all, everlasting, always was, is all love, and God can smite you in a moment. God can fill your life with pain and suffering until you do God’s will, or you will be sent into the flames of fire for eternity—a searing contradiction to the all loving God that made the why’s of suffering confusing.
I will share two examples of suffering from my life that are widely different on the spectrum of suffering, yet challenged me and were for me, full of meaning and life changing.
In the fall of 2017, my sister Di and I, in a party of 5, hiked a 200 mile stretch of El Camino in Spain, a pilgrimage route since the 9th century. I was initially reluctant to join in as I had three concerns: I am not interested in suffering, and I am not looking to change. I have had enough of both in my life, thank you very much, and I am not on a pilgrimage, I am on a hike. Well, I was convinced to go along and of course I lived all three of my must not’s.
On day 5 we hiked a 13 mile stretch from Astorga to Rabanal that included a steep grade up about 900 ft. through a path filled with shale. As we climbed, the shale slid under our feet until we reached a flat mile lined by a fence and crosses made from sticks, branches, and bits of cloth formed and left throughout the years, the centuries.
We arrived in Rabanal, tired, cold, and hungry with the hostels full for the night. We were offered a bed in an unheated building as the wind whipped and settled into our bones. During dinner my sister assessed that with her knee giving her pain, she would not be able climb the next day’s elevation while carrying her full hiking pack. She needed me to walk a mile to another hostel to request transporting her bag to our next destination.
This is where the exhaustion and sister relationship bumped into each other. I found myself going down a dark hole of conflict. I wanted all sorts of comfort that wasn’t an option while my sister needed me to do a simple task that felt monumental. I didn’t know the streets, it was dark, I did not have the language, and I felt my fear rise.
When I arrived at the hostel, I stood in awe and envy to see people coming and going, the many lights, the laughter and comradery, and of all things, heat. I watched and wondered at the differences in accommodation, and I contrasted this scene with the dark, cold, somber environment I had left and was returning to.
Now, challenge turned into suffering. When I returned, I wanted to be alone. I curled up in my sleeping bag in the dark and nurtured my pouting self. I began to chew away at the irritations building in me of all I was thinking and feeling. After running through a list of blame that led me nowhere, my thinking started to blame and criticize me with, “Why can’t you be like everyone else? What is wrong with you? Is it attitude? Could I just change how I experience this, and it will be all fun and laughter?
I cried a few tears and owned the fact that at the heart of it all, I was truly feeling worn and concerned. The dark, the cold, the uncertainty, a different bed every night, and old feelings surfacing with religious symbols all started with my thoughts running wild. As I owned the deeper struggle within me, I felt the warmth of compassion and my inner guidance say, there is nothing different in how you experience dark, cold, and hunger now, versus a month or a year ago or in childhoods. You have been given this body to get through this one life, and this body needs warmth, warm food, and sound sleep to function at its best. I felt comforted by this as truth. It just is.
I thought about what I had witnessed at the hostel and wondered: Is there a different way to do this trip? Less austere? Less getting whatever is left? Is there a way to care for yourself along the way? I felt deeply that suffering does not make a pilgrimage. It is the people we encounter, the natural challenges we meet and how we meet them that creates the journey and brings forth change.
Then, I remembered a quote that spoke to me as I prepared for this trip. It is from Siddhartha by Herman Hesse. “When someone seeks, then it easily happens that his eye sees only the thing that he seeks, and he is able to find nothing, to take nothing because he always things only about the thing he is seeking, because he has one goal, because he is obsessed with his goal. Seeking means: having a goal. But finding means being free, being open, having no goal.”
I started this trip with the goal of not suffering. And that is exactly where my thoughts, my ego self, led me to on this cold dark night—suffering. The next day I learned that one in our party had asked a monk he met if he was doing the Camino “in the right way”. The monk looked at him with a puzzled expression and said, “How can you do the Camino in the right way? There is no right way. The Camino is your life, your way. It is yours to do for you.”
It is then I realized that all the questions that arose in my mind as to how we were doing this trip, and how could it be different, were all questions about life—about how to live as spirit in body and deal with all that comes, the suffering and the joy. To not ignore the body as I was trained but to care for it as my vehicle in the world. I realized more deeply that our responses to our challenges, is the way, the life, we are creating.
While a pilgrimage speaks to how we can help build a challenging experience to a point of suffering, we will look further back in time to understand how a sudden unplanned for experience can move to suffering within the context of old theological teachings and faulty understanding.
We go back to the year 1981 and one of the more profound losses in my life. This experience held both pain and moments of suffering as I gave birth at age 30 to my third child, an infant who, due to a chromosome abnormality, would not survive. Her lifetime was one week. In that week, our priest at the time came to the hospital to offer a blessing over me and to baptize baby Beth. As he stood over me at the hospital bed he said, “God does not interfere, usually, with natures ways, including nature’s mistakes and failures. What God does do is help us through our struggles and pain, sometimes providing understanding, always providing strength.”
His words went straight to my heart as they awakened a truth already buried there and waiting to be recognized. When he placed his hand on my head, it was as if all the chaotic God teaching over my childhood from priests and nuns who were themselves struggling and confused was washed away. Even though it took years to more fully understand, this is the “power, love, and sound judgment” Paul describes.
Baby Beth’s lifetime which I experienced with pain, was a catalyst in moving me ever more deeply into waking up to my life with greater self-empowerment. Over time a greater understanding and capacity for love, and movement within to embody inner guidance. No one made me suffer to learn. Within the experience, I was awakened over time to move into my life in a way that was true to my soul journey.
There was a time when we believed suffering brought us closer to God—a God out there. What I believe now is that our challenges in life that push us beyond what we thought capable, open us to the spiritual/God questions within us and closer to God within us. This happens in not pushing away our pain but by consciously over time opening to it and to more of who we are. For instance, I did not know that my life work would entail grief and death. I was not given the death of an infant to open this door but by letting it guide me over time, it appeared.
When I think about experiences of suffering, I wonder what happens to the fruits of the spirit that Timothy speaks of: the power, the love, and sound judgement. When we are suffering in fear, powerlessness, resentment, and poor judgement, what happens to our relationship with spirit? When we feel powerless and feel a lack of connection, withdrawal, and are full of doubt, and lack self-regard, where are the fruits of the spirit? The ability to feel compassion in those instance feels diminished. We feel the total opposite of fruits of the spirit and believe we suffer alone.
I have come to believe they have not gone anywhere but are awakened when we enter fully and consciously into our pain and suffering. When we shine a light on our experience we allow transformation. When we open a door to where life directs us with love and compassion for ourselves, our journey, and our woundedness. We unite again with power, love, and sovereignty, in an ever-increasing capacity, through each encounter on this journey of spirit.
Our experience of suffering might hit like a tsunami in an instant of shock and be totally out of our control. Suffering arrives as we trap ourselves in our own thoughts on the experience or challenge presented. When we recognize this, we can make choices that free us and bring us into a clearer relationship with self and other. Within the heart of suffering is a grounding into the present moment.
We all have experiences of trial and suffering that change the trajectory of our lives. They might open us to transformation, awaken us in heart and mind, and allow spirit to flow in and through. Transformation does not often come to us in a blinding light like Paul being struck off his horse or like the mystic who had an immediate opening of heart. For most of us, it is a gradual awakening and opening, little by little throughout life, if we allow.
Back on El Camino, after Rabanal and the next day’s equally challenging hike to Cruz de Farro, we engaged in heartfelt conversation and made the changes needed giving us the opportunity to find our own pace and needs and find ways to support each other in those needs.
I found freedom in my mind and heart that did not take away challenges, as there were still some to come, but they were met with a different level of awareness, more trust, compassion, patience, and above all, laughter.
I found the destination was not Santiago, although we did get there, but the true destination was found within me. I had set out to do a hiking trip but let go into a pilgrimage. I found gratitude for my sister’s needs as it offered me the opportunity to be witness to the process of struggle within myself.
I believe the key for all of us is not to turn away from our suffering experience through our breath, writing, art, speaking to trusted individuals, pondering the deeper questions, and to go into and dare to enter the heart of our suffering. Give it the time it needs to speak to us. Give ourselves the tender care needed to recover. Bring our presence to the varied feelings. Feel compassion for self as an opportunity to embrace the moment and ourselves and accept it all as part of our evolution and our transformation.
Using Paul’s image, we allow our labor pains to bring forth life, our life.
Our self-wars may not have bombs and guns, but we can find ourselves at war within, in relationship with others, with ourselves, with newscasters, and politicians. A war within until we finally decide to let go. Call a cease fire. Be willing to listen. To understand. Take responsibility for our own thoughts and actions.
Jesus commanded his disciples to stay awake. Today we would say, stay present, be aware, be conscious. Our response to our challenges matters as we shift the world, bring in more love, compassion, energy, new life, within all that we are on this revolving, evolving, and living planet.
“For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power, love, and sound judgement.
© Janis Dehler