Category: Memoir

Reflections on a life lived.

Welcome To My Table

The Christmas Eve Feast

“Sharing food with another human being is an intimate act that should not be indulged in lightly.”

M.F.K. Fisher

I think of meals shared over a lifetime. The late-night corn on the cob and pie served by my grandmother as I sat, ate, and drowsily listened to the adults conversing in French. The meal shared on a date, watching the other chew, drink, swallow, the table manners, or lack thereof, conversation as each delves further into understanding. The shy smiles, teasing, flirting, hands gently touching. The breakfast served after I gave birth. Babes feeding at my breast —eye contact, smile, unspoken love. A family meal with the chaos of hurry to get the food on, busy schedules, quick conversations, laughter. And a family meal in silence, pain felt around the table, tension in the air, a TV blaring in the background. I see a meal served at a shelter, eye contact with a stranger, the bow of a head, a gentle smile. Meals with a prayer, a breath before a bite, holding hands, a centering moment before all dig in. A holiday meal with a mesh of conversations as I sit and smile and listen, then partake, reveling in the beauty of family love surrounding me. A meal where health issues are shared, a tear shed. Coffee and pie with my father acknowledging me, his daughter, as he is preparing to die. A lunch when my mother succumbs to a stroke before the coffee is served. A community of believers breaking a loaf made at a member’s home, now shared as communion. The sacred act of setting a table, placing the plates, napkins, utensils just so with flowers, a candle, a moment of gazing at the scene before all are served, anticipating, savoring the intimate moments to come. Come to the table. Bon Appétit.

“Eating is so intimate. It’s very sensual. When you invite someone to sit at your table and you want to cook for them, you’re inviting a person into your life.”

Maya Angelou

“When poets write about food it is usually celebratory. Food as the thing-in-itself, but also the thoughtful preparation of meals, the serving of meals, meals communally shared: a sense of the sacred in the profane.”

Joyce Carol Oates

Ongoing Resource List: Reading for Mind and Heart

  • The Gene Keys: Emracing Your Higher Purpose by Riuchard Rudd
  • Your Brain on Art: How the Arts Inform Us by Susan Magsamen and Ivy Ross
  • A New Earth by Eckhart Tolle
  • Energy Speaks: Messages from Spirit on Living, Loving, and Awakening by Lee Harris
  • Breaking the Habit of Being Yourself: How to Lose Your Mind and Create an New One by Dr. Joe Dispenza
  • The Women by Kristin Hannah
  • Cosmogenesis: An Unveiling of the Expanding Universe by Brian Thomas Swimme
  • The Mastery of Love, Don Miguel Ruiz
  • Change Your Thoughts—Change Your Life: Living the Wisdom of the Tao, by Dr. Wayne W. Dyer
  • God of Love: A Guide to the Heart of Judaism, Christianity, and Islam, by Mirabai Starr
  • The Four Agreements: A Toltec Book of Wisdom by Don Miguel Ruiz
  • Mindfulness and Grief by Heather Stang
  • How We Live Is How We Die by Pema Chödron
  • The Bhagavad Gita, Translated by Eknath Easwaran
  • St Francis of Assisi: Brother of Creation by Mirabai Starr
  • Wild Wisdom Edited by Neil Douglas-Klotz
  • Earth Prayers From Around The World, Ed by Elizabeth Roberts & Elias Amidon
  • The Tao of Relationships by Ray Grigg
  • Anam Cara: A Book of Celtic Wisdom by John O’Donohue
  • Unconditional Love and Forgiveness by Edith R. Stauffer, Ph.D.
  • Keep Going: The Art of Perseverance by Joseph M. Marshall III
  • Art & Fear by David Bayless & Ted Orland
  • Quantum-Touch by Richard Gordon
  • The Van Gogh Blues: The Creative Persons Path Through Depression by Eric Maisel, PhD
  • The Faraway Nearby by Rebecca Solnit
  • Amazing Grace: A Vocabulary of Faith by Kathleen Norris
  • Forever Ours: Real Stories of Immortality and Living by Janis Amatuzio
  • Personal Power Through Awareness by Sanaya Roman
  • Violence & Compassion by His Holiness the Dahlai Lama
  • Teachings on Love by Thich Nhat Hanh
  • Devotions by Mary Oliver
  • To Bless the Space Between Us by John O’Donohue
  • Meditations From the Mat by Rolf Gates and Katrina Kenison
  • The House of Belonging: poems by David Whyte
  • Full Catastrophe Living: Using the Wisdom of Your Body and Mind to Face Stress, Pain and Illness, by Jon Kabat-Zinn
  • The Faraway Nearby by Rebecca Solnit
  • Soul an Archaeology Edited by Phil Cousineau
  • A Path With Heart by Jack Kornfield
  • Listening Point by Sigurd Olson
  • I Sit Listening to the Wind by Judith Duerk
  • Dancing Moons by Nancy Wood
  • The Soul of Rumi, Translations by Coleman Barks
  • Keep Going by Joseph M. Marshall III
  • Arriving at your own Door by Jon Kabat-Zinn
  • The Untethered Soul by Michael Singer
  • The Hidden Secrets of Water by Paolo Consigli
  • Conquest of Mind by Eknath Easwaran
  • Color: A Natural History of the Palette by Victoria Finlay
  • Peace is Every Step by Thich Nhat Hanh
  • I Thought It Was Just Me (But It Isn’t) by Brene Brown
  • Practicing Peace in Times of War by Pema Chodron
  • When Things Fall Apart by Pema Chodron
  • On Death and Dying by Elizabeth Kubler-Ross
  • Unattended Sorrow by Stephen Levine
  • Joy in Loving, Mother Theresa
  • The Joy of Living by Yongey Mingyur Rinpoche
  • Let Your LIfe Speak by Parker Palmer
  • Zen and the Art of Saving the Planet by Thich Nhat Hanh
  • The Essence of the Upanishads by Eknath Easwaran
  • Welcoming the Unwelcome by Pema Chodron
  • Braiding Sweetgrass by Robin Wall Kimmerer
  • Medicine Cards: The Discovery of Power Through The Ways Of Animals by Jamie Sams and David Carson

Taw Tu’s and Gratitudes

Castle Rock #2 by Janis Dehler

As the week of preparation progressed toward our annual Thanksgiving gathering and feast, two women came to me within my mind and heart.

First, my sister, Mary Beth, born with Down Syndrome, autism, and then later Alzheimer’s. Mary did not verbally speak as a way of communicating but had her own adaptation of a few words in ASL and maybe 3-5 words or short phrases that she would vocalize. One of those heard was “taw tu”, thank you. Hearing her voice, in and of itself, brought a feeling of deep gratitude. Shortly after her death in 2020, she and I met in a dream, and she spoke to me quite fluently. I felt enraptured with the sound of her voice and enthralled with a more in-depth sister relationshp.

Next, my mother-in-law, Winnie Rose. Until her death Winnie could be moved to tears with the memories of deprivation, poverty, aloneness, concern for survival in cold and dark, all that she felt in the early years of marriage and the birthing of babes to a total of 9 surviving and 4 miscarriages. In these years, farming became a total loss, her husband had to drive a couple of hours away for work during a deep cold snow winter which left her to live alone with the young babes during the week. Despite this early pain that remained within her, she held to her gratitude in her 97 years of life. Her list grew. Her heart opened and expanded. I can still hear her reminding us to remember our gratitude’s and her birthday cards and holiday notes listing all she felt grateful for in her life including each of us.

Both women in their own way were heart medicine for both the giver and the receiver.

My “thank you” opens my heart to you
and invites you to open your heart to me.
Gratitude grows gratitude.

“Living in a state of gratitude is the gateway to grace.”

Arianna Huffington

“When we give cheerfully and accept gratefully, everyone is blessed.”

Maya Angelou

“Gratitude opens the door to the power, the wisdom, the creativity of the universe. You open the door through gratitude.”

Deepak Chopra

Ongoing Resource List: Reading for the Heart and Mind

  • The Gene Keys: Emracing Your Higher Purpose by Riuchard Rudd
  • Your Brain on Art: How the Arts Inform Us by Susan Magsamen and Ivy Ross
  • A New Earth by Eckhart Tolle
  • Energy Speaks: Messages from Spirit on Living, Loving, and Awakening by Lee Harris
  • Breaking the Habit of Being Yourself: How to Lose Your Mind and Create an New One by Dr. Joe Dispenza
  • The Women by Kristin Hannah
  • Cosmogenesis: An Unveiling of the Expanding Universe by Brian Thomas Swimme
  • The Mastery of Love, Don Miguel Ruiz
  • Change Your Thoughts—Change Your Life: Living the Wisdom of the Tao, by Dr. Wayne W. Dyer
  • God of Love: A Guide to the Heart of Judaism, Christianity, and Islam, by Mirabai Starr
  • The Four Agreements: A Toltec Book of Wisdom by Don Miguel Ruiz
  • Mindfulness and Grief by Heather Stang
  • How We Live Is How We Die by Pema Chödron
  • The Bhagavad Gita, Translated by Eknath Easwaran
  • St Francis of Assisi: Brother of Creation by Mirabai Starr
  • Wild Wisdom Edited by Neil Douglas-Klotz
  • Earth Prayers From Around The World, Ed by Elizabeth Roberts & Elias Amidon
  • The Tao of Relationships by Ray Grigg
  • Anam Cara: A Book of Celtic Wisdom by John O’Donohue
  • Unconditional Love and Forgiveness by Edith R. Stauffer, Ph.D.
  • Keep Going: The Art of Perseverance by Joseph M. Marshall III
  • Art & Fear by David Bayless & Ted Orland
  • Quantum-Touch by Richard Gordon
  • The Van Gogh Blues: The Creative Persons Path Through Depression by Eric Maisel, PhD
  • The Faraway Nearby by Rebecca Solnit
  • Amazing Grace: A Vocabulary of Faith by Kathleen Norris
  • Forever Ours: Real Stories of Immortality and Living by Janis Amatuzio
  • Personal Power Through Awareness by Sanaya Roman
  • Violence & Compassion by His Holiness the Dahlai Lama
  • Teachings on Love by Thich Nhat Hanh
  • Devotions by Mary Oliver
  • To Bless the Space Between Us by John O’Donohue
  • Meditations From the Mat by Rolf Gates and Katrina Kenison
  • The House of Belonging: poems by David Whyte
  • Full Catastrophe Living: Using the Wisdom of Your Body and Mind to Face Stress, Pain and Illness, by Jon Kabat-Zinn
  • The Faraway Nearby by Rebecca Solnit
  • Soul an Archaeology Edited by Phil Cousineau
  • A Path With Heart by Jack Kornfield
  • Listening Point by Sigurd Olson
  • I Sit Listening to the Wind by Judith Duerk
  • Dancing Moons by Nancy Wood
  • The Soul of Rumi, Translations by Coleman Barks
  • Keep Going by Joseph M. Marshall III
  • Arriving at your own Door by Jon Kabat-Zinn
  • The Untethered Soul by Michael Singer
  • The Hidden Secrets of Water by Paolo Consigli
  • Conquest of Mind by Eknath Easwaran
  • Color: A Natural History of the Palette by Victoria Finlay
  • Peace is Every Step by Thich Nhat Hanh
  • I Thought It Was Just Me (But It Isn’t) by Brene Brown
  • Practicing Peace in Times of War by Pema Chodron
  • When Things Fall Apart by Pema Chodron
  • On Death and Dying by Elizabeth Kubler-Ross
  • Unattended Sorrow by Stephen Levine
  • Joy in Loving, Mother Theresa
  • The Joy of Living by Yongey Mingyur Rinpoche
  • Let Your LIfe Speak by Parker Palmer
  • Zen and the Art of Saving the Planet by Thich Nhat Hanh
  • The Essence of the Upanishads by Eknath Easwaran
  • Welcoming the Unwelcome by Pema Chodron
  • Braiding Sweetgrass by Robin Wall Kimmerer
  • Medicine Cards: The Discovery of Power Through The Ways Of Animals by Jamie Sams and David Carson

A Little Bit of Summer

“One must maintain a little bit of summer, even in the middle of winter.”

Henry David Thoreau

Our summer 2022 is wrapped in the bookend of grandkids. In June a trip following down along the Mississippi to La Crosse and now Labor Day when the grands descend on our home and our hearts for two days. The weekend marker that reminds us that summer is over, children will head back to school, the days and nights are cooler, the State Fair comes to an end, and bedtimes need to be earlier. The troupe ages 12-20 arrived to enjoy pizza, little sleep, lots of laughs, movies, late nights, eating favorite foods, enjoying favorite local activities, and celebrating their Opa’s birthday.

We want summer to last a bit longer. Summertime that brings a sense of letting go, relaxing, resting or playing in the sunshine, in a sundress and flip flops, or shorts and t shirt, offering a lightness to the body and the spirit. As we return to schedules and obligations, not totally forgotten in summer but more lived in a feeling of vacation, we also feel relieved as we do when we travel and long to return to our familiar routine. While our outer life might now feel more regulated, we long to hold onto the inner spirit of summer, the warmth of the sun within our being, the light of joy on a summer afternoon.

As I feel deep gratitude for the fact that our grands so desire to be with us and the joy they bring to our home in lifting spirit, I sit now and reflect on the overwhelming views of flooding in Pakistan and take in the horror of loss, crisis, grief, shock, and all that will not happen for those citizens and their children and grandchildren, their family unit. The incredible disruption to livelihood. The uncertainty for now and the future. The feeling of instability as life as it was known has been swept away.

One does not retract the other as there is pain and joy in every moment as we all live in one world separated only by miles. Each moment that I live, is also a moment of another’s life with a wholly different expression. Each to be honored for what it is, attended to with whatever presence we can bring to each other’s stories, knowing that all is in constant motion. Everything changes. Knowing your pain on my day of joy brings balance, truth, honesty to the full expression of living.

It is quite easy to find the sacred in these days of joy and family on a warm summer day, it is another to find the sacred in trauma or catastrophe. Yet, we do. It is there when we look, when we open to its presence, the possibility, to our memories stored within. We only need to remember our own stories of a lifetime to remind us that the peace and warmth in our hearts is there to touch. Summer is not just a season in our outer world but one that resides within.

“A little bit of summer is what the whole year is all about.”

John Mayer

“Summertime. It was a song. It was a season. I wondered if that season would ever live inside me.“

Benjamin Alire Saenz

“Some of the best memories are made in flip-flops.“

Kellie Elmore

Ongoing Resource List: Reading for Heart and Mind

  • The Gene Keys: Emracing Your Higher Purpose by Riuchard Rudd
  • Your Brain on Art: How the Arts Inform Us by Susan Magsamen and Ivy Ross
  • A New Earth by Eckhart Tolle
  • Energy Speaks: Messages from Spirit on Living, Loving, and Awakening by Lee Harris
  • Breaking the Habit of Being Yourself: How to Lose Your Mind and Create an New One by Dr. Joe Dispenza
  • The Women by Kristin Hannah
  • Cosmogenesis: An Unveiling of the Expanding Universe by Brian Thomas Swimme
  • The Mastery of Love, Don Miguel Ruiz
  • Change Your Thoughts—Change Your Life: Living the Wisdom of the Tao, by Dr. Wayne W. Dyer
  • God of Love: A Guide to the Heart of Judaism, Christianity, and Islam, by Mirabai Starr
  • The Four Agreements: A Toltec Book of Wisdom by Don Miguel Ruiz
  • Mindfulness and Grief by Heather Stang
  • How We Live Is How We Die by Pema Chödron
  • The Bhagavad Gita, Translated by Eknath Easwaran
  • St Francis of Assisi: Brother of Creation by Mirabai Starr
  • Wild Wisdom Edited by Neil Douglas-Klotz
  • Earth Prayers From Around The World, Ed by Elizabeth Roberts & Elias Amidon
  • The Tao of Relationships by Ray Grigg
  • Anam Cara: A Book of Celtic Wisdom by John O’Donohue
  • Unconditional Love and Forgiveness by Edith R. Stauffer, Ph.D.
  • Keep Going: The Art of Perseverance by Joseph M. Marshall III
  • Art & Fear by David Bayless & Ted Orland
  • Quantum-Touch by Richard Gordon
  • The Van Gogh Blues: The Creative Persons Path Through Depression by Eric Maisel, PhD
  • The Faraway Nearby by Rebecca Solnit
  • Amazing Grace: A Vocabulary of Faith by Kathleen Norris
  • Forever Ours: Real Stories of Immortality and Living by Janis Amatuzio
  • Personal Power Through Awareness by Sanaya Roman
  • Violence & Compassion by His Holiness the Dahlai Lama
  • Teachings on Love by Thich Nhat Hanh
  • Devotions by Mary Oliver
  • To Bless the Space Between Us by John O’Donohue
  • Meditations From the Mat by Rolf Gates and Katrina Kenison
  • The House of Belonging: poems by David Whyte
  • Full Catastrophe Living: Using the Wisdom of Your Body and Mind to Face Stress, Pain and Illness, by Jon Kabat-Zinn
  • The Faraway Nearby by Rebecca Solnit
  • Soul an Archaeology Edited by Phil Cousineau
  • A Path With Heart by Jack Kornfield
  • Listening Point by Sigurd Olson
  • I Sit Listening to the Wind by Judith Duerk
  • Dancing Moons by Nancy Wood
  • The Soul of Rumi, Translations by Coleman Barks
  • Keep Going by Joseph M. Marshall III
  • Arriving at your own Door by Jon Kabat-Zinn
  • The Untethered Soul by Michael Singer
  • The Hidden Secrets of Water by Paolo Consigli
  • Conquest of Mind by Eknath Easwaran
  • Color: A Natural History of the Palette by Victoria Finlay
  • Peace is Every Step by Thich Nhat Hanh
  • I Thought It Was Just Me (But It Isn’t) by Brene Brown
  • Practicing Peace in Times of War by Pema Chodron
  • When Things Fall Apart by Pema Chodron
  • On Death and Dying by Elizabeth Kubler-Ross
  • Unattended Sorrow by Stephen Levine
  • Joy in Loving, Mother Theresa
  • The Joy of Living by Yongey Mingyur Rinpoche
  • Let Your LIfe Speak by Parker Palmer
  • Zen and the Art of Saving the Planet by Thich Nhat Hanh
  • The Essence of the Upanishads by Eknath Easwaran
  • Welcoming the Unwelcome by Pema Chodron
  • Braiding Sweetgrass by Robin Wall Kimmerer
  • Medicine Cards: The Discovery of Power Through The Ways Of Animals by Jamie Sams and David Carson

The Anniversary

For Leo

Leo and Janis August 28, 1970
The Anniversary

Oh, how the years fly by,
all 52 since we said, “I do,”
how young we were back then.
At 19 and 21 we faced as adults,
then moved, believing us one.
We soon found four legs stumble 
when bound, and we struggled to
find our path. 

With war and separations, 
adding school and then babes,
the road brought both sorrow and joy.
We navigated sharp twists and turns,
peaks and valleys, and at times 
feared losing our way. When
death took one babe, and grief found us, 
our hearts fought feeling defeat.

Family and friends, our children and love, 
contained us as we grieved. We allowed ourselves 
to grow, to seek, to doubt, until we believed.
To believe again in life, the movement of it all,
and walk with grace through strife.
We gaze back at the road traversed and know in truth
there is nothing more to be said. Dust has settled, and
we now see, the roads chosen to make us free.

We gather it in and bless it so, 
it is ours, our passage to know.
Life is an adventure and
what is ahead we do not see, but
lean in, to allow letting go.
Gratitude expressed in each new day,
brings peace to our hearts anew. Spirit rises
and shines on today in our labor and our play.

The journey goes on as the road beckons,
the work of love laughs on into dawn.
The generations continue to grow, we
feel the love they so freely give 
and open our hearts to joy. We will walk with them 
as far as we are able, then trust them to carry the torch.
To light the way for others to follow
as they cast hope in a bright new day.

“Marriage is not a ritual or an end. It is a long, intricate, intimate, dance together and nothing matters more than your own sense of balance and your choice of partner.”

Amy Bloom

“The minute I heard my first love story I started looking for you, not knowing how blind that was. Lovers don’t finally meet somewhere. They’re in each other all along.” 

Rumi

“There is no secret to a long marriage – it is hard work…it is serious business, and certainly not for cowards.” 

Ossie Davis

Ongoing Resource List: Reading for Heart and Mind

  • The Gene Keys: Emracing Your Higher Purpose by Riuchard Rudd
  • Your Brain on Art: How the Arts Inform Us by Susan Magsamen and Ivy Ross
  • A New Earth by Eckhart Tolle
  • Energy Speaks: Messages from Spirit on Living, Loving, and Awakening by Lee Harris
  • Breaking the Habit of Being Yourself: How to Lose Your Mind and Create an New One by Dr. Joe Dispenza
  • The Women by Kristin Hannah
  • Cosmogenesis: An Unveiling of the Expanding Universe by Brian Thomas Swimme
  • The Mastery of Love, Don Miguel Ruiz
  • Change Your Thoughts—Change Your Life: Living the Wisdom of the Tao, by Dr. Wayne W. Dyer
  • God of Love: A Guide to the Heart of Judaism, Christianity, and Islam, by Mirabai Starr
  • The Four Agreements: A Toltec Book of Wisdom by Don Miguel Ruiz
  • Mindfulness and Grief by Heather Stang
  • How We Live Is How We Die by Pema Chödron
  • The Bhagavad Gita, Translated by Eknath Easwaran
  • St Francis of Assisi: Brother of Creation by Mirabai Starr
  • Wild Wisdom Edited by Neil Douglas-Klotz
  • Earth Prayers From Around The World, Ed by Elizabeth Roberts & Elias Amidon
  • The Tao of Relationships by Ray Grigg
  • Anam Cara: A Book of Celtic Wisdom by John O’Donohue
  • Unconditional Love and Forgiveness by Edith R. Stauffer, Ph.D.
  • Keep Going: The Art of Perseverance by Joseph M. Marshall III
  • Art & Fear by David Bayless & Ted Orland
  • Quantum-Touch by Richard Gordon
  • The Van Gogh Blues: The Creative Persons Path Through Depression by Eric Maisel, PhD
  • The Faraway Nearby by Rebecca Solnit
  • Amazing Grace: A Vocabulary of Faith by Kathleen Norris
  • Forever Ours: Real Stories of Immortality and Living by Janis Amatuzio
  • Personal Power Through Awareness by Sanaya Roman
  • Violence & Compassion by His Holiness the Dahlai Lama
  • Teachings on Love by Thich Nhat Hanh
  • Devotions by Mary Oliver
  • To Bless the Space Between Us by John O’Donohue
  • Meditations From the Mat by Rolf Gates and Katrina Kenison
  • The House of Belonging: poems by David Whyte
  • Full Catastrophe Living: Using the Wisdom of Your Body and Mind to Face Stress, Pain and Illness, by Jon Kabat-Zinn
  • The Faraway Nearby by Rebecca Solnit
  • Soul an Archaeology Edited by Phil Cousineau
  • A Path With Heart by Jack Kornfield
  • Listening Point by Sigurd Olson
  • I Sit Listening to the Wind by Judith Duerk
  • Dancing Moons by Nancy Wood
  • The Soul of Rumi, Translations by Coleman Barks
  • Keep Going by Joseph M. Marshall III
  • Arriving at your own Door by Jon Kabat-Zinn
  • The Untethered Soul by Michael Singer
  • The Hidden Secrets of Water by Paolo Consigli
  • Conquest of Mind by Eknath Easwaran
  • Color: A Natural History of the Palette by Victoria Finlay
  • Peace is Every Step by Thich Nhat Hanh
  • I Thought It Was Just Me (But It Isn’t) by Brene Brown
  • Practicing Peace in Times of War by Pema Chodron
  • When Things Fall Apart by Pema Chodron
  • On Death and Dying by Elizabeth Kubler-Ross
  • Unattended Sorrow by Stephen Levine
  • Joy in Loving, Mother Theresa
  • The Joy of Living by Yongey Mingyur Rinpoche
  • Let Your LIfe Speak by Parker Palmer
  • Zen and the Art of Saving the Planet by Thich Nhat Hanh
  • The Essence of the Upanishads by Eknath Easwaran
  • Welcoming the Unwelcome by Pema Chodron
  • Braiding Sweetgrass by Robin Wall Kimmerer
  • Medicine Cards: The Discovery of Power Through The Ways Of Animals by Jamie Sams and David Carson

Morning’s Grace

Cedar Lake August 2022
Paddling through cloud reflections,
trees mirrored on the lake,
I listen as water laps against my paddle,
voices arise from camp, as all awake.

Watching grasses floating below,
a kayaker making her way along the shore,
I observe the trees along the lakeside,
captured in stillness as I explore.

Closing my eyes as a water skier casts waves, 
rocking my vessel, soothing my soul, 
I feel calm in this cradle of peace,
realm of sky and water, now to console.

Smiling, two loons arrive, dunking heads,
ruffling feathers, diving, resurfacing, near to my craft. 
I reflect on ease and grace as they move,
as if they dance in abandon to make me laugh.

Offering thanks for trust in my presence of beauty manifest,
I rest in community; one they so freely adorn. 
I receive communion in my attendance of the sacred,
in this moment, this sacrament, on this—a Sunday morn.
Loons on Cedar Lake 2022

Ongoing Resource List: Reading for Heart and Mind

  • The Gene Keys: Emracing Your Higher Purpose by Riuchard Rudd
  • Your Brain on Art: How the Arts Inform Us by Susan Magsamen and Ivy Ross
  • A New Earth by Eckhart Tolle
  • Energy Speaks: Messages from Spirit on Living, Loving, and Awakening by Lee Harris
  • Breaking the Habit of Being Yourself: How to Lose Your Mind and Create an New One by Dr. Joe Dispenza
  • The Women by Kristin Hannah
  • Cosmogenesis: An Unveiling of the Expanding Universe by Brian Thomas Swimme
  • The Mastery of Love, Don Miguel Ruiz
  • Change Your Thoughts—Change Your Life: Living the Wisdom of the Tao, by Dr. Wayne W. Dyer
  • God of Love: A Guide to the Heart of Judaism, Christianity, and Islam, by Mirabai Starr
  • The Four Agreements: A Toltec Book of Wisdom by Don Miguel Ruiz
  • Mindfulness and Grief by Heather Stang
  • How We Live Is How We Die by Pema Chödron
  • The Bhagavad Gita, Translated by Eknath Easwaran
  • St Francis of Assisi: Brother of Creation by Mirabai Starr
  • Wild Wisdom Edited by Neil Douglas-Klotz
  • Earth Prayers From Around The World, Ed by Elizabeth Roberts & Elias Amidon
  • The Tao of Relationships by Ray Grigg
  • Anam Cara: A Book of Celtic Wisdom by John O’Donohue
  • Unconditional Love and Forgiveness by Edith R. Stauffer, Ph.D.
  • Keep Going: The Art of Perseverance by Joseph M. Marshall III
  • Art & Fear by David Bayless & Ted Orland
  • Quantum-Touch by Richard Gordon
  • The Van Gogh Blues: The Creative Persons Path Through Depression by Eric Maisel, PhD
  • The Faraway Nearby by Rebecca Solnit
  • Amazing Grace: A Vocabulary of Faith by Kathleen Norris
  • Forever Ours: Real Stories of Immortality and Living by Janis Amatuzio
  • Personal Power Through Awareness by Sanaya Roman
  • Violence & Compassion by His Holiness the Dahlai Lama
  • Teachings on Love by Thich Nhat Hanh
  • Devotions by Mary Oliver
  • To Bless the Space Between Us by John O’Donohue
  • Meditations From the Mat by Rolf Gates and Katrina Kenison
  • The House of Belonging: poems by David Whyte
  • Full Catastrophe Living: Using the Wisdom of Your Body and Mind to Face Stress, Pain and Illness, by Jon Kabat-Zinn
  • The Faraway Nearby by Rebecca Solnit
  • Soul an Archaeology Edited by Phil Cousineau
  • A Path With Heart by Jack Kornfield
  • Listening Point by Sigurd Olson
  • I Sit Listening to the Wind by Judith Duerk
  • Dancing Moons by Nancy Wood
  • The Soul of Rumi, Translations by Coleman Barks
  • Keep Going by Joseph M. Marshall III
  • Arriving at your own Door by Jon Kabat-Zinn
  • The Untethered Soul by Michael Singer
  • The Hidden Secrets of Water by Paolo Consigli
  • Conquest of Mind by Eknath Easwaran
  • Color: A Natural History of the Palette by Victoria Finlay
  • Peace is Every Step by Thich Nhat Hanh
  • I Thought It Was Just Me (But It Isn’t) by Brene Brown
  • Practicing Peace in Times of War by Pema Chodron
  • When Things Fall Apart by Pema Chodron
  • On Death and Dying by Elizabeth Kubler-Ross
  • Unattended Sorrow by Stephen Levine
  • Joy in Loving, Mother Theresa
  • The Joy of Living by Yongey Mingyur Rinpoche
  • Let Your LIfe Speak by Parker Palmer
  • Zen and the Art of Saving the Planet by Thich Nhat Hanh
  • The Essence of the Upanishads by Eknath Easwaran
  • Welcoming the Unwelcome by Pema Chodron
  • Braiding Sweetgrass by Robin Wall Kimmerer
  • Medicine Cards: The Discovery of Power Through The Ways Of Animals by Jamie Sams and David Carson

The Planetary Chorus

Cedar Lake photo by Renee Dehler

A dear friend called this morning to let me know her father died earlier in his sleep and to share her memories, her reflections of a lifetime with this man, her Papa. I recalled the desire I felt when faced with a death, wishing the world would slow down with everyone stopping for this momentous loss. While we take a breath to take it all in, attend to the many details of death, and take the time to mourn, life does not. While my friend is grieving, I am playing. While her family makes burial plans a baby is being born, wars are fought, political rivalries take the headlines, others in the world are dying, are starving, are migrating. Life continues in its complexity and in all manner of love, hate, care, compassion, and regret. All unfolding while we are busy minding our own life.

My friends call came while I am camping near Cedar Lake for the third family reunion that we have attended this summer. We here are enjoying lawn games, card games, kayaking, swimming, and biking. With a large family and a possible 104 who could attend, this year 74 join in for a day or a week. An incredible number which speaks to the value placed on showing up and being part of the whole. Under the harvest moon we gather around the campfire widening the circle as people arrive to sit and tell stories. The days are relaxing, fun, informative, and comforting as I feel the pleasure of belonging in this tribe as well as the other tribes that we have gathered with this summer. We have place on this planet.

As we catch up on each other’s lives, I learn of those who have quit drinking, pursued further education, left a marriage, celebrated the birth of a great grandchild, made travel plans, or dealt with health complications. During the week I move from a heartful conversation with a niece to a zoom session with a client, to the phone conversation announcing a death, then to visit with my sister-in-law, soon to watch my grandson on the paddle board as I move to my kayak and on through the days and into the nights in a seamless flow.

I find it heartening that in any moment of loss and grief, others are living their moments of life in a different way. The stories of existence continue, and we feel the breath of Spirit throughout our lives and those around us. In unison we rejoice, we wail, we celebrate, we love. We are the planetary chorus heard, reverberating throughout time.

“Each moment is a note in the song of today.”

Michael Brant DeMaria

“I was sitting under a tree on the riverbank enjoying the flow of life.”

Debasish Mridha

“That is part of the beauty of all literature. You discover that your longings are universal longings, that you’re not lonely and isolated from anyone. You belong.”

F. Scott Fitzgerald

Ongoing Resource List: Reading for Heart and Mind

  • The Gene Keys: Emracing Your Higher Purpose by Riuchard Rudd
  • Your Brain on Art: How the Arts Inform Us by Susan Magsamen and Ivy Ross
  • A New Earth by Eckhart Tolle
  • Energy Speaks: Messages from Spirit on Living, Loving, and Awakening by Lee Harris
  • Breaking the Habit of Being Yourself: How to Lose Your Mind and Create an New One by Dr. Joe Dispenza
  • The Women by Kristin Hannah
  • Cosmogenesis: An Unveiling of the Expanding Universe by Brian Thomas Swimme
  • The Mastery of Love, Don Miguel Ruiz
  • Change Your Thoughts—Change Your Life: Living the Wisdom of the Tao, by Dr. Wayne W. Dyer
  • God of Love: A Guide to the Heart of Judaism, Christianity, and Islam, by Mirabai Starr
  • The Four Agreements: A Toltec Book of Wisdom by Don Miguel Ruiz
  • Mindfulness and Grief by Heather Stang
  • How We Live Is How We Die by Pema Chödron
  • The Bhagavad Gita, Translated by Eknath Easwaran
  • St Francis of Assisi: Brother of Creation by Mirabai Starr
  • Wild Wisdom Edited by Neil Douglas-Klotz
  • Earth Prayers From Around The World, Ed by Elizabeth Roberts & Elias Amidon
  • The Tao of Relationships by Ray Grigg
  • Anam Cara: A Book of Celtic Wisdom by John O’Donohue
  • Unconditional Love and Forgiveness by Edith R. Stauffer, Ph.D.
  • Keep Going: The Art of Perseverance by Joseph M. Marshall III
  • Art & Fear by David Bayless & Ted Orland
  • Quantum-Touch by Richard Gordon
  • The Van Gogh Blues: The Creative Persons Path Through Depression by Eric Maisel, PhD
  • The Faraway Nearby by Rebecca Solnit
  • Amazing Grace: A Vocabulary of Faith by Kathleen Norris
  • Forever Ours: Real Stories of Immortality and Living by Janis Amatuzio
  • Personal Power Through Awareness by Sanaya Roman
  • Violence & Compassion by His Holiness the Dahlai Lama
  • Teachings on Love by Thich Nhat Hanh
  • Devotions by Mary Oliver
  • To Bless the Space Between Us by John O’Donohue
  • Meditations From the Mat by Rolf Gates and Katrina Kenison
  • The House of Belonging: poems by David Whyte
  • Full Catastrophe Living: Using the Wisdom of Your Body and Mind to Face Stress, Pain and Illness, by Jon Kabat-Zinn
  • The Faraway Nearby by Rebecca Solnit
  • Soul an Archaeology Edited by Phil Cousineau
  • A Path With Heart by Jack Kornfield
  • Listening Point by Sigurd Olson
  • I Sit Listening to the Wind by Judith Duerk
  • Dancing Moons by Nancy Wood
  • The Soul of Rumi, Translations by Coleman Barks
  • Keep Going by Joseph M. Marshall III
  • Arriving at your own Door by Jon Kabat-Zinn
  • The Untethered Soul by Michael Singer
  • The Hidden Secrets of Water by Paolo Consigli
  • Conquest of Mind by Eknath Easwaran
  • Color: A Natural History of the Palette by Victoria Finlay
  • Peace is Every Step by Thich Nhat Hanh
  • I Thought It Was Just Me (But It Isn’t) by Brene Brown
  • Practicing Peace in Times of War by Pema Chodron
  • When Things Fall Apart by Pema Chodron
  • On Death and Dying by Elizabeth Kubler-Ross
  • Unattended Sorrow by Stephen Levine
  • Joy in Loving, Mother Theresa
  • The Joy of Living by Yongey Mingyur Rinpoche
  • Let Your LIfe Speak by Parker Palmer
  • Zen and the Art of Saving the Planet by Thich Nhat Hanh
  • The Essence of the Upanishads by Eknath Easwaran
  • Welcoming the Unwelcome by Pema Chodron
  • Braiding Sweetgrass by Robin Wall Kimmerer
  • Medicine Cards: The Discovery of Power Through The Ways Of Animals by Jamie Sams and David Carson

Songs of The Ancestors

The eastern side of the Upper Peninsula of Michigan is what I consider my ancestral home with my great grandparents having settled here from St. Jean de Matha, Quebec. This land, which includes the Dryberg, Rudyard, and Sault Ste. Marie areas is like a hometown I never truly lived in but have a deep feeling within me. It is ancestral land. It holds the stories of generations and would be a part of what would sustain my parents through their life of joys and sorrows, grief and loss, pleasure, and pain. This land holds the blood, sweat, and tears of generations of ancestors. It holds our family stories, mystery, and myths. It holds a language that touches my soul with the love of generations grounding me in place.

Honoring ancestors 
blended in soil, 
mystery and memory
tell of their toil.

Feeling recognition
of self in their tale,
handed down, entwined 
in earth to prevail.

Language foreign to mine 
yet known in my heart, 
they came living and 
tending the slow burning hearth.
 
From a Huron orphan and fir trapper
the journey flows true, 
farmers, loggers, factory work too.
From Quebec, Ontario, then to the Soo

They, dreaming of me 
now I, reflecting on them, 
a great chain of being
flows on into then.

Flowing on in the children
Courage, determination,
faith, hope, losses grieved, 
finding peace deep within.

“No self is of itself alone. It has a long chain of intellectual ancestors. The “I” is chained to ancestry by many factors… This is not mere allegory, but an eternal memory.” 

Erwin Schrödinger

“The songs of our ancestors are also the songs of our children” 

Philip Carr-Gomm

“It was the kind of moon that I would want to send back to my ancestors and gift to my descendants so they know that I too, have been bruised…by beauty.” 

Sanober Khan, Turquoise Silence
 

Ongoing Resource List: Reading for Mind and Heart

  • The Gene Keys: Emracing Your Higher Purpose by Riuchard Rudd
  • Your Brain on Art: How the Arts Inform Us by Susan Magsamen and Ivy Ross
  • A New Earth by Eckhart Tolle
  • Energy Speaks: Messages from Spirit on Living, Loving, and Awakening by Lee Harris
  • Breaking the Habit of Being Yourself: How to Lose Your Mind and Create an New One by Dr. Joe Dispenza
  • The Women by Kristin Hannah
  • Cosmogenesis: An Unveiling of the Expanding Universe by Brian Thomas Swimme
  • The Mastery of Love, Don Miguel Ruiz
  • Change Your Thoughts—Change Your Life: Living the Wisdom of the Tao, by Dr. Wayne W. Dyer
  • God of Love: A Guide to the Heart of Judaism, Christianity, and Islam, by Mirabai Starr
  • The Four Agreements: A Toltec Book of Wisdom by Don Miguel Ruiz
  • Mindfulness and Grief by Heather Stang
  • How We Live Is How We Die by Pema Chödron
  • The Bhagavad Gita, Translated by Eknath Easwaran
  • St Francis of Assisi: Brother of Creation by Mirabai Starr
  • Wild Wisdom Edited by Neil Douglas-Klotz
  • Earth Prayers From Around The World, Ed by Elizabeth Roberts & Elias Amidon
  • The Tao of Relationships by Ray Grigg
  • Anam Cara: A Book of Celtic Wisdom by John O’Donohue
  • Unconditional Love and Forgiveness by Edith R. Stauffer, Ph.D.
  • Keep Going: The Art of Perseverance by Joseph M. Marshall III
  • Art & Fear by David Bayless & Ted Orland
  • Quantum-Touch by Richard Gordon
  • The Van Gogh Blues: The Creative Persons Path Through Depression by Eric Maisel, PhD
  • The Faraway Nearby by Rebecca Solnit
  • Amazing Grace: A Vocabulary of Faith by Kathleen Norris
  • Forever Ours: Real Stories of Immortality and Living by Janis Amatuzio
  • Personal Power Through Awareness by Sanaya Roman
  • Violence & Compassion by His Holiness the Dahlai Lama
  • Teachings on Love by Thich Nhat Hanh
  • Devotions by Mary Oliver
  • To Bless the Space Between Us by John O’Donohue
  • Meditations From the Mat by Rolf Gates and Katrina Kenison
  • The House of Belonging: poems by David Whyte
  • Full Catastrophe Living: Using the Wisdom of Your Body and Mind to Face Stress, Pain and Illness, by Jon Kabat-Zinn
  • The Faraway Nearby by Rebecca Solnit
  • Soul an Archaeology Edited by Phil Cousineau
  • A Path With Heart by Jack Kornfield
  • Listening Point by Sigurd Olson
  • I Sit Listening to the Wind by Judith Duerk
  • Dancing Moons by Nancy Wood
  • The Soul of Rumi, Translations by Coleman Barks
  • Keep Going by Joseph M. Marshall III
  • Arriving at your own Door by Jon Kabat-Zinn
  • The Untethered Soul by Michael Singer
  • The Hidden Secrets of Water by Paolo Consigli
  • Conquest of Mind by Eknath Easwaran
  • Color: A Natural History of the Palette by Victoria Finlay
  • Peace is Every Step by Thich Nhat Hanh
  • I Thought It Was Just Me (But It Isn’t) by Brene Brown
  • Practicing Peace in Times of War by Pema Chodron
  • When Things Fall Apart by Pema Chodron
  • On Death and Dying by Elizabeth Kubler-Ross
  • Unattended Sorrow by Stephen Levine
  • Joy in Loving, Mother Theresa
  • The Joy of Living by Yongey Mingyur Rinpoche
  • Let Your LIfe Speak by Parker Palmer
  • Zen and the Art of Saving the Planet by Thich Nhat Hanh
  • The Essence of the Upanishads by Eknath Easwaran
  • Welcoming the Unwelcome by Pema Chodron
  • Braiding Sweetgrass by Robin Wall Kimmerer
  • Medicine Cards: The Discovery of Power Through The Ways Of Animals by Jamie Sams and David Carson

A Conversation

A Conversation by Janis Dehler

Recently I happened to encounter a woman who had been a dear friend from forty years ago. We had parted as we began to find different paths and without meaning to, we hurt each other. A spark of joy was felt and seen in the other as we briefly met at a crowded event with an exchange of email opening the door for the two of us to later sit together and talk.

We remembered when we were young, new babies, marriages that began to feel the first frays of time, longings in our hearts that we could not yet understand, a sense of self that was still developing. We shared stories about our children, grandchildren, my spouse, the marriage she left, the adventures of a lifetime, as many and few we could name in this first visit. Then sharing what we each remembered of the hurt we felt. Both of us feeling and exclaiming, “I am so sorry, I did not know!”

Two women at peace and content with the paths chosen. Two women who, as we looked at the other, remembered a time that was rich, challenging, filled with hope and longing, fresh, alive, looking toward the future. Two women, who could also talk now of end-of-life thoughts. What will be let go of now, what has meaning now, and for the generations after.

The trees formed a canopy
a safe place to reveal
what was shrouded in 
the shelter of the heart.

With the new shoots of spring
the Goldfinch, Cardinals, and
Chickadees asking for our attention,
we two old friends opened.

Sitting within her cadence
my heart opened to her song,
and she to mine. A trek through 
mountains and valleys that challenged. 

Births of joy
Losses grieved
Disappointments
Surprises

No bird, nor new spring flower
compared with the miracle
Of listening, without worry, 
no words to plan.

Attentive, quiet,
the chapel of nature offering
absolution while gently moving us 
along life’s way.

A real conversation always contains an invitation. You are inviting another person to reveal herself or himself to you, to tell you who they are or what they want.

David Whyte

Silence is one of the great arts of conversation.

Marcus Tullius Cicero

Courage and willingness to just go for it, whether it is a conversation or a spontaneous trip or trying new things that are scary – it is a really attractive quality.

Alanis Morissette

Ongoing Resource List – Reading for the Heart and the Mind

  • The Gene Keys: Emracing Your Higher Purpose by Riuchard Rudd
  • Your Brain on Art: How the Arts Inform Us by Susan Magsamen and Ivy Ross
  • A New Earth by Eckhart Tolle
  • Energy Speaks: Messages from Spirit on Living, Loving, and Awakening by Lee Harris
  • Breaking the Habit of Being Yourself: How to Lose Your Mind and Create an New One by Dr. Joe Dispenza
  • The Women by Kristin Hannah
  • Cosmogenesis: An Unveiling of the Expanding Universe by Brian Thomas Swimme
  • The Mastery of Love, Don Miguel Ruiz
  • Change Your Thoughts—Change Your Life: Living the Wisdom of the Tao, by Dr. Wayne W. Dyer
  • God of Love: A Guide to the Heart of Judaism, Christianity, and Islam, by Mirabai Starr
  • The Four Agreements: A Toltec Book of Wisdom by Don Miguel Ruiz
  • Mindfulness and Grief by Heather Stang
  • How We Live Is How We Die by Pema Chödron
  • The Bhagavad Gita, Translated by Eknath Easwaran
  • St Francis of Assisi: Brother of Creation by Mirabai Starr
  • Wild Wisdom Edited by Neil Douglas-Klotz
  • Earth Prayers From Around The World, Ed by Elizabeth Roberts & Elias Amidon
  • The Tao of Relationships by Ray Grigg
  • Anam Cara: A Book of Celtic Wisdom by John O’Donohue
  • Unconditional Love and Forgiveness by Edith R. Stauffer, Ph.D.
  • Keep Going: The Art of Perseverance by Joseph M. Marshall III
  • Art & Fear by David Bayless & Ted Orland
  • Quantum-Touch by Richard Gordon
  • The Van Gogh Blues: The Creative Persons Path Through Depression by Eric Maisel, PhD
  • The Faraway Nearby by Rebecca Solnit
  • Amazing Grace: A Vocabulary of Faith by Kathleen Norris
  • Forever Ours: Real Stories of Immortality and Living by Janis Amatuzio
  • Personal Power Through Awareness by Sanaya Roman
  • Violence & Compassion by His Holiness the Dahlai Lama
  • Teachings on Love by Thich Nhat Hanh
  • Devotions by Mary Oliver
  • To Bless the Space Between Us by John O’Donohue
  • Meditations From the Mat by Rolf Gates and Katrina Kenison
  • The House of Belonging: poems by David Whyte
  • Full Catastrophe Living: Using the Wisdom of Your Body and Mind to Face Stress, Pain and Illness, by Jon Kabat-Zinn
  • The Faraway Nearby by Rebecca Solnit
  • Soul an Archaeology Edited by Phil Cousineau
  • A Path With Heart by Jack Kornfield
  • Listening Point by Sigurd Olson
  • I Sit Listening to the Wind by Judith Duerk
  • Dancing Moons by Nancy Wood
  • The Soul of Rumi, Translations by Coleman Barks
  • Keep Going by Joseph M. Marshall III
  • Arriving at your own Door by Jon Kabat-Zinn
  • The Untethered Soul by Michael Singer
  • The Hidden Secrets of Water by Paolo Consigli
  • Conquest of Mind by Eknath Easwaran
  • Color: A Natural History of the Palette by Victoria Finlay
  • Peace is Every Step by Thich Nhat Hanh
  • I Thought It Was Just Me (But It Isn’t) by Brene Brown
  • Practicing Peace in Times of War by Pema Chodron
  • When Things Fall Apart by Pema Chodron
  • On Death and Dying by Elizabeth Kubler-Ross
  • Unattended Sorrow by Stephen Levine
  • Joy in Loving, Mother Theresa
  • The Joy of Living by Yongey Mingyur Rinpoche
  • Let Your LIfe Speak by Parker Palmer
  • Zen and the Art of Saving the Planet by Thich Nhat Hanh
  • The Essence of the Upanishads by Eknath Easwaran
  • Welcoming the Unwelcome by Pema Chodron
  • Braiding Sweetgrass by Robin Wall Kimmerer
  • Medicine Cards: The Discovery of Power Through The Ways Of Animals by Jamie Sams and David Carson

What Colors Do We Bring Today?

Today’s Palette

Washing out my palette, old, dried watercolors unused in these past two years, mixing, circling, draining away. Taking memories steeped in color. Feelings awash in hue. Plans that glisten in colors of hope.

Today, Payne’s Gray seems an appropriate color to wash this troubled world. It makes the most sense in these days of cautious and reactionary perspectives, yet I know that within this gray I could add a dab of Opera Pink that would remind me of life that continues to grow and thrive within the dark, a flashy point of freedom, abandon, joy. And if Opera Pink seems too harsh, we could even offer Permanent Alizarin Crimson, or Lemon Yellow, to quicken our heart. Gray has purpose and consequence; it is gray that allows the pure hue to shine.

I remember the day I thought gray covered my life as the infant I birthed was close to her death. Forty-one years later, I remember her entire lifetime of seven days encapsulated in one moment of color. Driving home after seven days in hospital, we arrived at the intersection of Franklin Avenue and River Boulevard. As I look up toward the bluffs of the Mississippi River I gasp in awe at the green before me. Green searing into my heart. I weep with shock and joy for these vibrant colors that I forgot existed. Permanent Green Light, Sap Green, Olive, Phthalo Green Blue Shade, all dancing in the bright late summer light of mid-day. I shield my eyes. It is more than I can fully absorb in the moment.

The gray of my mother’s death surrounded another color that was transmitted, Permanent Rose. The gentle days sitting vigil with chanting, then washing her body, honoring her with rose petals. The color rose brought me to a journey of my own heart opening.

My father’s death brought me to a soft green as being with him in his final days brought healing to my life, a balance and harmony to body and mind that I could not previously experience with him.

My sister’s death brings a variety of colors of joy through red, purple, yellow, and pink. Even within her gray years with Alzheimer’s she could radiate her giggles, her inner trickster, her sweet hugs.

Our world is awash in color but somedays we only see the gray as it is now in my part of the world with winter not having heard that spring has arrived and the skies and land are soft brown, and cool gray. If I look closer, I detect Raw Sienna, Cerulean Blue, Raw Umber, and Burnt Sienna. There now is the brilliant red of cardinal on the blue-green spruce. He brings a smile.

It is understood that we all see the same color differently. We each bring our own experience of color, our own unique perception of the refraction of light and more to the way we experience color. Possibly today is the color of calm. Maybe power and strength. Colors can bring a feeling of intensity or sadness, joy, and freedom. So many expressions of emotion.

On this day, might we bring a bit of green for healing, the yellow of happiness and hope, the rose of compassion, the violet of inner peace, the red of love, the orange of vitality, the purple of creativity, and not without a bit of black for mystery, just to round it out.

“Nature always wears the colors of the spirit.”

Ralph Waldo Emerson

“It’s okay to show off all your colors.”

Luis Guzman

“The rainbow is a part of nature, and you must be in the right place to see it. It’s beautiful, all the colors, even the colors you can’t see. That really fits us as a people because we are all the colors. Our sexuality is all the colors. We are all the races, genders, and ages.”

Gilbert Baker

“The first challenge in writing about colors is that they don’t really exist. Or rather they do exist, but only because our minds create them as an interpretation of vibrations that are happening around us. Everything in the universe—whether it is classified as ‘solid’ or ‘liquid’ or ‘gas’ or even ‘vacuum’— is shimmering and vibrating and constantly changing. But our brains don’t find that a very useful way of comprehending the world. So we translate what we experience into conepts like ‘objects’ and ‘smells’ and ‘sounds’ and, of course, ‘colors’, which are altogether easier for us to understand.” Color: A Natural History of the Palette by Victoria Finlay

On Going Resource List

  • The Gene Keys: Emracing Your Higher Purpose by Riuchard Rudd
  • Your Brain on Art: How the Arts Inform Us by Susan Magsamen and Ivy Ross
  • A New Earth by Eckhart Tolle
  • Energy Speaks: Messages from Spirit on Living, Loving, and Awakening by Lee Harris
  • Breaking the Habit of Being Yourself: How to Lose Your Mind and Create an New One by Dr. Joe Dispenza
  • The Women by Kristin Hannah
  • Cosmogenesis: An Unveiling of the Expanding Universe by Brian Thomas Swimme
  • The Mastery of Love, Don Miguel Ruiz
  • Change Your Thoughts—Change Your Life: Living the Wisdom of the Tao, by Dr. Wayne W. Dyer
  • God of Love: A Guide to the Heart of Judaism, Christianity, and Islam, by Mirabai Starr
  • The Four Agreements: A Toltec Book of Wisdom by Don Miguel Ruiz
  • Mindfulness and Grief by Heather Stang
  • How We Live Is How We Die by Pema Chödron
  • The Bhagavad Gita, Translated by Eknath Easwaran
  • St Francis of Assisi: Brother of Creation by Mirabai Starr
  • Wild Wisdom Edited by Neil Douglas-Klotz
  • Earth Prayers From Around The World, Ed by Elizabeth Roberts & Elias Amidon
  • The Tao of Relationships by Ray Grigg
  • Anam Cara: A Book of Celtic Wisdom by John O’Donohue
  • Unconditional Love and Forgiveness by Edith R. Stauffer, Ph.D.
  • Keep Going: The Art of Perseverance by Joseph M. Marshall III
  • Art & Fear by David Bayless & Ted Orland
  • Quantum-Touch by Richard Gordon
  • The Van Gogh Blues: The Creative Persons Path Through Depression by Eric Maisel, PhD
  • The Faraway Nearby by Rebecca Solnit
  • Amazing Grace: A Vocabulary of Faith by Kathleen Norris
  • Forever Ours: Real Stories of Immortality and Living by Janis Amatuzio
  • Personal Power Through Awareness by Sanaya Roman
  • Violence & Compassion by His Holiness the Dahlai Lama
  • Teachings on Love by Thich Nhat Hanh
  • Devotions by Mary Oliver
  • To Bless the Space Between Us by John O’Donohue
  • Meditations From the Mat by Rolf Gates and Katrina Kenison
  • The House of Belonging: poems by David Whyte
  • Full Catastrophe Living: Using the Wisdom of Your Body and Mind to Face Stress, Pain and Illness, by Jon Kabat-Zinn
  • The Faraway Nearby by Rebecca Solnit
  • Soul an Archaeology Edited by Phil Cousineau
  • A Path With Heart by Jack Kornfield
  • Listening Point by Sigurd Olson
  • I Sit Listening to the Wind by Judith Duerk
  • Dancing Moons by Nancy Wood
  • The Soul of Rumi, Translations by Coleman Barks
  • Keep Going by Joseph M. Marshall III
  • Arriving at your own Door by Jon Kabat-Zinn
  • The Untethered Soul by Michael Singer
  • The Hidden Secrets of Water by Paolo Consigli
  • Conquest of Mind by Eknath Easwaran
  • Color: A Natural History of the Palette by Victoria Finlay
  • Peace is Every Step by Thich Nhat Hanh
  • I Thought It Was Just Me (But It Isn’t) by Brene Brown
  • Practicing Peace in Times of War by Pema Chodron
  • When Things Fall Apart by Pema Chodron
  • On Death and Dying by Elizabeth Kubler-Ross
  • Unattended Sorrow by Stephen Levine
  • Joy in Loving, Mother Theresa
  • The Joy of Living by Yongey Mingyur Rinpoche
  • Let Your LIfe Speak by Parker Palmer
  • Zen and the Art of Saving the Planet by Thich Nhat Hanh
  • The Essence of the Upanishads by Eknath Easwaran
  • Welcoming the Unwelcome by Pema Chodron
  • Braiding Sweetgrass by Robin Wall Kimmerer
  • Medicine Cards: The Discovery of Power Through The Ways Of Animals by Jamie Sams and David Carson

Silence

Diving Deep and Surfacing by Janis Dehler
Phoebe fought hard with the cancer,
first denying its existence 
until she lost swallow, and then
realized she could no longer fight.
Holding her hand, 
I wanted to say “you are not alone” 
but I knew she was, only me, no family,
and she knew it.
I could not go with her,
nor fully enter her experience.
That distant look in her eye
now focused, now vacant,
rolled back, a stab of pain, shudders.
I thought of the day I took her to the doctor,
her courageous smile,
dyed red hair carefully styled. 
She could not walk or talk by then
but she could apply her makeup
like an actress before the curtain rose.
She had her pride. 
I could smell the cancer,
the decay within, and
I wanted to give her something
of comfort.
A peaceful steady gaze, eye to eye,
hold of her hand. Silence.
I will remember.

Phoebe was a client in the late 80’s who radiated life until she could not. I did not mourn for all the losses as the knowing of one could be brief, but I keenly felt her death and was privileged to be called to her side at the end.

“Piglet sidled up to Pooh from behind. “Pooh?” he whispered. “Yes, Piglet?” “Nothing,” said Piglet, taking Pooh’s hand. “I just wanted to be sure of you.”

A.A. Milne, Winnie-the-Pooh

“I don’t think of all the misery, but of the beauty that still remains.

Anne Frank, The Diary of a Young Girl

On Going Resource List

  • The Gene Keys: Emracing Your Higher Purpose by Riuchard Rudd
  • Your Brain on Art: How the Arts Inform Us by Susan Magsamen and Ivy Ross
  • A New Earth by Eckhart Tolle
  • Energy Speaks: Messages from Spirit on Living, Loving, and Awakening by Lee Harris
  • Breaking the Habit of Being Yourself: How to Lose Your Mind and Create an New One by Dr. Joe Dispenza
  • The Women by Kristin Hannah
  • Cosmogenesis: An Unveiling of the Expanding Universe by Brian Thomas Swimme
  • The Mastery of Love, Don Miguel Ruiz
  • Change Your Thoughts—Change Your Life: Living the Wisdom of the Tao, by Dr. Wayne W. Dyer
  • God of Love: A Guide to the Heart of Judaism, Christianity, and Islam, by Mirabai Starr
  • The Four Agreements: A Toltec Book of Wisdom by Don Miguel Ruiz
  • Mindfulness and Grief by Heather Stang
  • How We Live Is How We Die by Pema Chödron
  • The Bhagavad Gita, Translated by Eknath Easwaran
  • St Francis of Assisi: Brother of Creation by Mirabai Starr
  • Wild Wisdom Edited by Neil Douglas-Klotz
  • Earth Prayers From Around The World, Ed by Elizabeth Roberts & Elias Amidon
  • The Tao of Relationships by Ray Grigg
  • Anam Cara: A Book of Celtic Wisdom by John O’Donohue
  • Unconditional Love and Forgiveness by Edith R. Stauffer, Ph.D.
  • Keep Going: The Art of Perseverance by Joseph M. Marshall III
  • Art & Fear by David Bayless & Ted Orland
  • Quantum-Touch by Richard Gordon
  • The Van Gogh Blues: The Creative Persons Path Through Depression by Eric Maisel, PhD
  • The Faraway Nearby by Rebecca Solnit
  • Amazing Grace: A Vocabulary of Faith by Kathleen Norris
  • Forever Ours: Real Stories of Immortality and Living by Janis Amatuzio
  • Personal Power Through Awareness by Sanaya Roman
  • Violence & Compassion by His Holiness the Dahlai Lama
  • Teachings on Love by Thich Nhat Hanh
  • Devotions by Mary Oliver
  • To Bless the Space Between Us by John O’Donohue
  • Meditations From the Mat by Rolf Gates and Katrina Kenison
  • The House of Belonging: poems by David Whyte
  • Full Catastrophe Living: Using the Wisdom of Your Body and Mind to Face Stress, Pain and Illness, by Jon Kabat-Zinn
  • The Faraway Nearby by Rebecca Solnit
  • Soul an Archaeology Edited by Phil Cousineau
  • A Path With Heart by Jack Kornfield
  • Listening Point by Sigurd Olson
  • I Sit Listening to the Wind by Judith Duerk
  • Dancing Moons by Nancy Wood
  • The Soul of Rumi, Translations by Coleman Barks
  • Keep Going by Joseph M. Marshall III
  • Arriving at your own Door by Jon Kabat-Zinn
  • The Untethered Soul by Michael Singer
  • The Hidden Secrets of Water by Paolo Consigli
  • Conquest of Mind by Eknath Easwaran
  • Color: A Natural History of the Palette by Victoria Finlay
  • Peace is Every Step by Thich Nhat Hanh
  • I Thought It Was Just Me (But It Isn’t) by Brene Brown
  • Practicing Peace in Times of War by Pema Chodron
  • When Things Fall Apart by Pema Chodron
  • On Death and Dying by Elizabeth Kubler-Ross
  • Unattended Sorrow by Stephen Levine
  • Joy in Loving, Mother Theresa
  • The Joy of Living by Yongey Mingyur Rinpoche
  • Let Your LIfe Speak by Parker Palmer
  • Zen and the Art of Saving the Planet by Thich Nhat Hanh
  • The Essence of the Upanishads by Eknath Easwaran
  • Welcoming the Unwelcome by Pema Chodron
  • Braiding Sweetgrass by Robin Wall Kimmerer
  • Medicine Cards: The Discovery of Power Through The Ways Of Animals by Jamie Sams and David Carson