It is spring and I am practicing setting good boundaries with my deer friends who have increasingly befriended our property and my plantings. While they enjoy a chomp on a green and succulent Hosta; clip off the top of the prized Asiatic lily that I have been waiting to see for two years; leave me phlox that stand stripped of their vibrant purple; I am left dealing with my feelings of being invaded by those who are not aware of what it is they do. In one word: fences. I have been planting fences. Telling myself this is mine and that is yours. Will it work? As in all relationships it is an unknown, but I am making change for me with a desire to live happily with those who love our land and bring beauty when they visit. Life is about connection, is it not? Letting it all go without stating my honest feelings and clarifying my position feels unsatisfying and lacking in integrity. How can I get upset when I have not done my part? Yes, Robert Frost, let us hope that “good fences make good neighbors.”
“When we fail to set boundaries and hold people accountable, we feel used and mistreated. This is why we sometimes attack who they are, which is far more hurtful than addressing a behavior or a choice.”
– Brené Brown, The Gifts of Imperfection
“Creating an atmosphere of mutual respect and consideration for boundaries, can lead you to the path of personal happiness.”
-Nancy B. Urbach
“No” is a complete sentence.”
-Annie Lamott
Janis Dehler 