“William thought of that Sacrament now and felt bad for all the children who were forced to divide their ordinary lives into sins and not-sins so they would have something to say to a cassocked stranger.”
Ann Napolitano, Hello Beautiful
That is where it all started, she thought, as she lay her head back on the pillow reviewing the course of her life as she struggled to breathe.
She saw herself clearly, first as a young girl, fearful, as she crept closer to a curtain which she would step behind to talk to a man about bad things she did or thought.
She started memorizing in her head, I yelled at Mary, I wanted the doll my sister got for Christmas, and on and on through a litany of events and thoughts from her week wondering if these were good enough sins to tell the priest.
Now, in old age, she realized that this is where she started to divide the world into good and bad, sin and not-sin, black and white, where no middle ground held any merit—a line drawn as if chopped by a cleaver.
As she wept, holding this young girl in her heart, she began to forgive herself for all the ways she judged herself, all the times she shut herself off from her own desires, cut herself off from others out of fear, expressed anger at those who saw events and people from a different perspective. All the ways she stopped herself from fully living her life.
She opened her eyes, felt all the love in her heart, gasped for a final breath, and cried out to anyone who would listen, “I am alive.”
“Hate the sin, love the sinner.”
Mahatma Gandhi
“He tried to name which of the deadly seven might apply, and when he failed, he decided to append an eighth, regret.”
Charles Frazier, Cold Mountain
“Every breath we take, every step we make, can be filled with peace, joy, and serenity.”
Thich Nhat Hanh
For Ongoing Resource List: Reading for Heart and Mind
