Tag: hope

In One Moment

Entering Stillness
Watercolor by Janis Dehler
Each morning my news feed
brings images, pain, concern,
feelings of helplessness
in the face of atrocities.

Each day the calls for support,
humanitarian aid, food, medical care,
navigate me toward the depths of humanity—
that which links us all.

Each morning I sit in quiet,
moving in, anchoring in, seeking
the calm still point, believing in the 
sacred seed, within each living thing.

Each day I wonder as you are called out—
crazy, animal, sick. Are you? As you live out evil?
Have you deeply layered the sacred 
with doubt, fear, paranoia, anger, deceit?

Each morning I wake to the
unknown moment, what will be next?
For now, ignoring the news of you,
I watch the yellow finch, sip tea, sit in my sacred space.

Each day I move through
what is before me, aware
that chaos is at the other side of my still point.
So, I won’t dismiss you.

Each morning I remember the
child who was taught to hide 
from the unthinkable.
But I won’t give you that power.

Each day the unthinkable looms
once again, and I remember, 
remember, and remember — the source,
the beauty, and the bounty of this life.

Each moment,
I won’t alter my belief.
You, even you, hold a seed of life, of love.
Will you find it?

Each moment you, believing in the worst,
forgetting the best,
holding to the shame within you,
forgetting the pure, the holy, the whole.

In one moment, one day, one morning,
will you drop to your knees?
will you plead for mercy?
I do feel doubt, yet…

I don’t know the closing,
the last moment,
the final breath, 
of your one iniquitous life.

“Sacrificing others is always the result when getting and holding are valued more than individual lives.”

Eknath Easwaran in Conquest of Mind

“There is enough on earth for everyone’s need but not enough for everyone’s greed.

Mahatma Gandhi

“May all creatures be happy. May people everywhere live in abiding peace and love.” For all of us are one, and joy can be found only in the joy of all.

A prayer from ancient Hindu scriptures with addition by Easwaran

Ongoing Resource List

  • The Gene Keys: Emracing Your Higher Purpose by Riuchard Rudd
  • Your Brain on Art: How the Arts Inform Us by Susan Magsamen and Ivy Ross
  • A New Earth by Eckhart Tolle
  • Energy Speaks: Messages from Spirit on Living, Loving, and Awakening by Lee Harris
  • Breaking the Habit of Being Yourself: How to Lose Your Mind and Create an New One by Dr. Joe Dispenza
  • The Women by Kristin Hannah
  • Cosmogenesis: An Unveiling of the Expanding Universe by Brian Thomas Swimme
  • The Mastery of Love, Don Miguel Ruiz
  • Change Your Thoughts—Change Your Life: Living the Wisdom of the Tao, by Dr. Wayne W. Dyer
  • God of Love: A Guide to the Heart of Judaism, Christianity, and Islam, by Mirabai Starr
  • The Four Agreements: A Toltec Book of Wisdom by Don Miguel Ruiz
  • Mindfulness and Grief by Heather Stang
  • How We Live Is How We Die by Pema Chödron
  • The Bhagavad Gita, Translated by Eknath Easwaran
  • St Francis of Assisi: Brother of Creation by Mirabai Starr
  • Wild Wisdom Edited by Neil Douglas-Klotz
  • Earth Prayers From Around The World, Ed by Elizabeth Roberts & Elias Amidon
  • The Tao of Relationships by Ray Grigg
  • Anam Cara: A Book of Celtic Wisdom by John O’Donohue
  • Unconditional Love and Forgiveness by Edith R. Stauffer, Ph.D.
  • Keep Going: The Art of Perseverance by Joseph M. Marshall III
  • Art & Fear by David Bayless & Ted Orland
  • Quantum-Touch by Richard Gordon
  • The Van Gogh Blues: The Creative Persons Path Through Depression by Eric Maisel, PhD
  • The Faraway Nearby by Rebecca Solnit
  • Amazing Grace: A Vocabulary of Faith by Kathleen Norris
  • Forever Ours: Real Stories of Immortality and Living by Janis Amatuzio
  • Personal Power Through Awareness by Sanaya Roman
  • Violence & Compassion by His Holiness the Dahlai Lama
  • Teachings on Love by Thich Nhat Hanh
  • Devotions by Mary Oliver
  • To Bless the Space Between Us by John O’Donohue
  • Meditations From the Mat by Rolf Gates and Katrina Kenison
  • The House of Belonging: poems by David Whyte
  • Full Catastrophe Living: Using the Wisdom of Your Body and Mind to Face Stress, Pain and Illness, by Jon Kabat-Zinn
  • The Faraway Nearby by Rebecca Solnit
  • Soul an Archaeology Edited by Phil Cousineau
  • A Path With Heart by Jack Kornfield
  • Listening Point by Sigurd Olson
  • I Sit Listening to the Wind by Judith Duerk
  • Dancing Moons by Nancy Wood
  • The Soul of Rumi, Translations by Coleman Barks
  • Keep Going by Joseph M. Marshall III
  • Arriving at your own Door by Jon Kabat-Zinn
  • The Untethered Soul by Michael Singer
  • The Hidden Secrets of Water by Paolo Consigli
  • Conquest of Mind by Eknath Easwaran
  • Color: A Natural History of the Palette by Victoria Finlay
  • Peace is Every Step by Thich Nhat Hanh
  • I Thought It Was Just Me (But It Isn’t) by Brene Brown
  • Practicing Peace in Times of War by Pema Chodron
  • When Things Fall Apart by Pema Chodron
  • On Death and Dying by Elizabeth Kubler-Ross
  • Unattended Sorrow by Stephen Levine
  • Joy in Loving, Mother Theresa
  • The Joy of Living by Yongey Mingyur Rinpoche
  • Let Your LIfe Speak by Parker Palmer
  • Zen and the Art of Saving the Planet by Thich Nhat Hanh
  • The Essence of the Upanishads by Eknath Easwaran
  • Welcoming the Unwelcome by Pema Chodron
  • Braiding Sweetgrass by Robin Wall Kimmerer
  • Medicine Cards: The Discovery of Power Through The Ways Of Animals by Jamie Sams and David Carson

What Colors Do We Bring Today?

Today’s Palette

Washing out my palette, old, dried watercolors unused in these past two years, mixing, circling, draining away. Taking memories steeped in color. Feelings awash in hue. Plans that glisten in colors of hope.

Today, Payne’s Gray seems an appropriate color to wash this troubled world. It makes the most sense in these days of cautious and reactionary perspectives, yet I know that within this gray I could add a dab of Opera Pink that would remind me of life that continues to grow and thrive within the dark, a flashy point of freedom, abandon, joy. And if Opera Pink seems too harsh, we could even offer Permanent Alizarin Crimson, or Lemon Yellow, to quicken our heart. Gray has purpose and consequence; it is gray that allows the pure hue to shine.

I remember the day I thought gray covered my life as the infant I birthed was close to her death. Forty-one years later, I remember her entire lifetime of seven days encapsulated in one moment of color. Driving home after seven days in hospital, we arrived at the intersection of Franklin Avenue and River Boulevard. As I look up toward the bluffs of the Mississippi River I gasp in awe at the green before me. Green searing into my heart. I weep with shock and joy for these vibrant colors that I forgot existed. Permanent Green Light, Sap Green, Olive, Phthalo Green Blue Shade, all dancing in the bright late summer light of mid-day. I shield my eyes. It is more than I can fully absorb in the moment.

The gray of my mother’s death surrounded another color that was transmitted, Permanent Rose. The gentle days sitting vigil with chanting, then washing her body, honoring her with rose petals. The color rose brought me to a journey of my own heart opening.

My father’s death brought me to a soft green as being with him in his final days brought healing to my life, a balance and harmony to body and mind that I could not previously experience with him.

My sister’s death brings a variety of colors of joy through red, purple, yellow, and pink. Even within her gray years with Alzheimer’s she could radiate her giggles, her inner trickster, her sweet hugs.

Our world is awash in color but somedays we only see the gray as it is now in my part of the world with winter not having heard that spring has arrived and the skies and land are soft brown, and cool gray. If I look closer, I detect Raw Sienna, Cerulean Blue, Raw Umber, and Burnt Sienna. There now is the brilliant red of cardinal on the blue-green spruce. He brings a smile.

It is understood that we all see the same color differently. We each bring our own experience of color, our own unique perception of the refraction of light and more to the way we experience color. Possibly today is the color of calm. Maybe power and strength. Colors can bring a feeling of intensity or sadness, joy, and freedom. So many expressions of emotion.

On this day, might we bring a bit of green for healing, the yellow of happiness and hope, the rose of compassion, the violet of inner peace, the red of love, the orange of vitality, the purple of creativity, and not without a bit of black for mystery, just to round it out.

“Nature always wears the colors of the spirit.”

Ralph Waldo Emerson

“It’s okay to show off all your colors.”

Luis Guzman

“The rainbow is a part of nature, and you must be in the right place to see it. It’s beautiful, all the colors, even the colors you can’t see. That really fits us as a people because we are all the colors. Our sexuality is all the colors. We are all the races, genders, and ages.”

Gilbert Baker

“The first challenge in writing about colors is that they don’t really exist. Or rather they do exist, but only because our minds create them as an interpretation of vibrations that are happening around us. Everything in the universe—whether it is classified as ‘solid’ or ‘liquid’ or ‘gas’ or even ‘vacuum’— is shimmering and vibrating and constantly changing. But our brains don’t find that a very useful way of comprehending the world. So we translate what we experience into conepts like ‘objects’ and ‘smells’ and ‘sounds’ and, of course, ‘colors’, which are altogether easier for us to understand.” Color: A Natural History of the Palette by Victoria Finlay

On Going Resource List

  • The Gene Keys: Emracing Your Higher Purpose by Riuchard Rudd
  • Your Brain on Art: How the Arts Inform Us by Susan Magsamen and Ivy Ross
  • A New Earth by Eckhart Tolle
  • Energy Speaks: Messages from Spirit on Living, Loving, and Awakening by Lee Harris
  • Breaking the Habit of Being Yourself: How to Lose Your Mind and Create an New One by Dr. Joe Dispenza
  • The Women by Kristin Hannah
  • Cosmogenesis: An Unveiling of the Expanding Universe by Brian Thomas Swimme
  • The Mastery of Love, Don Miguel Ruiz
  • Change Your Thoughts—Change Your Life: Living the Wisdom of the Tao, by Dr. Wayne W. Dyer
  • God of Love: A Guide to the Heart of Judaism, Christianity, and Islam, by Mirabai Starr
  • The Four Agreements: A Toltec Book of Wisdom by Don Miguel Ruiz
  • Mindfulness and Grief by Heather Stang
  • How We Live Is How We Die by Pema Chödron
  • The Bhagavad Gita, Translated by Eknath Easwaran
  • St Francis of Assisi: Brother of Creation by Mirabai Starr
  • Wild Wisdom Edited by Neil Douglas-Klotz
  • Earth Prayers From Around The World, Ed by Elizabeth Roberts & Elias Amidon
  • The Tao of Relationships by Ray Grigg
  • Anam Cara: A Book of Celtic Wisdom by John O’Donohue
  • Unconditional Love and Forgiveness by Edith R. Stauffer, Ph.D.
  • Keep Going: The Art of Perseverance by Joseph M. Marshall III
  • Art & Fear by David Bayless & Ted Orland
  • Quantum-Touch by Richard Gordon
  • The Van Gogh Blues: The Creative Persons Path Through Depression by Eric Maisel, PhD
  • The Faraway Nearby by Rebecca Solnit
  • Amazing Grace: A Vocabulary of Faith by Kathleen Norris
  • Forever Ours: Real Stories of Immortality and Living by Janis Amatuzio
  • Personal Power Through Awareness by Sanaya Roman
  • Violence & Compassion by His Holiness the Dahlai Lama
  • Teachings on Love by Thich Nhat Hanh
  • Devotions by Mary Oliver
  • To Bless the Space Between Us by John O’Donohue
  • Meditations From the Mat by Rolf Gates and Katrina Kenison
  • The House of Belonging: poems by David Whyte
  • Full Catastrophe Living: Using the Wisdom of Your Body and Mind to Face Stress, Pain and Illness, by Jon Kabat-Zinn
  • The Faraway Nearby by Rebecca Solnit
  • Soul an Archaeology Edited by Phil Cousineau
  • A Path With Heart by Jack Kornfield
  • Listening Point by Sigurd Olson
  • I Sit Listening to the Wind by Judith Duerk
  • Dancing Moons by Nancy Wood
  • The Soul of Rumi, Translations by Coleman Barks
  • Keep Going by Joseph M. Marshall III
  • Arriving at your own Door by Jon Kabat-Zinn
  • The Untethered Soul by Michael Singer
  • The Hidden Secrets of Water by Paolo Consigli
  • Conquest of Mind by Eknath Easwaran
  • Color: A Natural History of the Palette by Victoria Finlay
  • Peace is Every Step by Thich Nhat Hanh
  • I Thought It Was Just Me (But It Isn’t) by Brene Brown
  • Practicing Peace in Times of War by Pema Chodron
  • When Things Fall Apart by Pema Chodron
  • On Death and Dying by Elizabeth Kubler-Ross
  • Unattended Sorrow by Stephen Levine
  • Joy in Loving, Mother Theresa
  • The Joy of Living by Yongey Mingyur Rinpoche
  • Let Your LIfe Speak by Parker Palmer
  • Zen and the Art of Saving the Planet by Thich Nhat Hanh
  • The Essence of the Upanishads by Eknath Easwaran
  • Welcoming the Unwelcome by Pema Chodron
  • Braiding Sweetgrass by Robin Wall Kimmerer
  • Medicine Cards: The Discovery of Power Through The Ways Of Animals by Jamie Sams and David Carson

A Letter to a Mariupol Woman

We All Live Under One Moon
©Janis Dehler
A Letter to a Mariupol Woman

We don’t know each other but I heard your story on the radio, your voice, 
your journey. I was going about my ordinary day of errands and a dental appointment and you entered my world. Like a carrier pigeon, now with a message banded to me, I must write to you and tell you that I received your message. I will carry it forward as you have entrusted me. 

I hear your pain, your fear, your shock as your world crumbles around you. You said, “No one can imagine what it is like here. We have little food, no water, gas, or electric or heat. Bombs drop constantly.” You are right, I do not know what your life is like, my imagination is, in this regard, incomplete. In all honesty, I hope I never have to know. No one, including you, should have to know this. 

I know fear, anxiety, anger, frustration, and debilitating grief; I know to give myself to the unknown, but I do not know this terror that brings you fleeing. I do not know the intense ache of starvation, the helplessness you describe as a mother-in-law goes out to try and find a bit of food and does not return, how you try to cook a few morsels with bombs and dirt falling on everything, how you decide to cram 13 people into two small cars and flee with just the clothes on your backs, driving through a checkpoint where the soldiers could choose to instantly kill you. I don’t know what it is like to arrive in another country with a different language, desperately seeking shelter, to be fully dependent on a stranger to feed and protect me in a land that is not my own. 

There is little I can give you today in exchange for your story. I only know how to hold your story like the flowered ceramic bowl in the center of my grandmothers table that held the boiled red potatoes or the creamed garden peas, a container of sustenance and nurturing love. There is much I do not know but if I sit quiet, I can feel your heartbeat, I can feel you in your raw fear, in your scream of loss. I know how to honor your story and allow the words you speak enter me and touch my humanity. I can tell you; I believe you. 

Maybe if enough of us listen, listen fully from our hearts, we can build a bridge of listening hearts to your heart. Might we all offer that bit to an unseen fleeing woman, children, families pleading for help. Might your suffering become ours. Might our humanity expand through our awareness. 

Sincerely yours,
A Listener

©JanisDehler

“We will not learn to live together by killing each other’s children.”

Jimmy Carter

“War does not determine who is right—only who is left.”

Bertrand Russell

“War: a massacre of people who don’t know each other for the profit of people who know each other but don’t massacre each other.”

Paul Valery

Ongoing Resource List

  • The Gene Keys: Emracing Your Higher Purpose by Riuchard Rudd
  • Your Brain on Art: How the Arts Inform Us by Susan Magsamen and Ivy Ross
  • A New Earth by Eckhart Tolle
  • Energy Speaks: Messages from Spirit on Living, Loving, and Awakening by Lee Harris
  • Breaking the Habit of Being Yourself: How to Lose Your Mind and Create an New One by Dr. Joe Dispenza
  • The Women by Kristin Hannah
  • Cosmogenesis: An Unveiling of the Expanding Universe by Brian Thomas Swimme
  • The Mastery of Love, Don Miguel Ruiz
  • Change Your Thoughts—Change Your Life: Living the Wisdom of the Tao, by Dr. Wayne W. Dyer
  • God of Love: A Guide to the Heart of Judaism, Christianity, and Islam, by Mirabai Starr
  • The Four Agreements: A Toltec Book of Wisdom by Don Miguel Ruiz
  • Mindfulness and Grief by Heather Stang
  • How We Live Is How We Die by Pema Chödron
  • The Bhagavad Gita, Translated by Eknath Easwaran
  • St Francis of Assisi: Brother of Creation by Mirabai Starr
  • Wild Wisdom Edited by Neil Douglas-Klotz
  • Earth Prayers From Around The World, Ed by Elizabeth Roberts & Elias Amidon
  • The Tao of Relationships by Ray Grigg
  • Anam Cara: A Book of Celtic Wisdom by John O’Donohue
  • Unconditional Love and Forgiveness by Edith R. Stauffer, Ph.D.
  • Keep Going: The Art of Perseverance by Joseph M. Marshall III
  • Art & Fear by David Bayless & Ted Orland
  • Quantum-Touch by Richard Gordon
  • The Van Gogh Blues: The Creative Persons Path Through Depression by Eric Maisel, PhD
  • The Faraway Nearby by Rebecca Solnit
  • Amazing Grace: A Vocabulary of Faith by Kathleen Norris
  • Forever Ours: Real Stories of Immortality and Living by Janis Amatuzio
  • Personal Power Through Awareness by Sanaya Roman
  • Violence & Compassion by His Holiness the Dahlai Lama
  • Teachings on Love by Thich Nhat Hanh
  • Devotions by Mary Oliver
  • To Bless the Space Between Us by John O’Donohue
  • Meditations From the Mat by Rolf Gates and Katrina Kenison
  • The House of Belonging: poems by David Whyte
  • Full Catastrophe Living: Using the Wisdom of Your Body and Mind to Face Stress, Pain and Illness, by Jon Kabat-Zinn
  • The Faraway Nearby by Rebecca Solnit
  • Soul an Archaeology Edited by Phil Cousineau
  • A Path With Heart by Jack Kornfield
  • Listening Point by Sigurd Olson
  • I Sit Listening to the Wind by Judith Duerk
  • Dancing Moons by Nancy Wood
  • The Soul of Rumi, Translations by Coleman Barks
  • Keep Going by Joseph M. Marshall III
  • Arriving at your own Door by Jon Kabat-Zinn
  • The Untethered Soul by Michael Singer
  • The Hidden Secrets of Water by Paolo Consigli
  • Conquest of Mind by Eknath Easwaran
  • Color: A Natural History of the Palette by Victoria Finlay
  • Peace is Every Step by Thich Nhat Hanh
  • I Thought It Was Just Me (But It Isn’t) by Brene Brown
  • Practicing Peace in Times of War by Pema Chodron
  • When Things Fall Apart by Pema Chodron
  • On Death and Dying by Elizabeth Kubler-Ross
  • Unattended Sorrow by Stephen Levine
  • Joy in Loving, Mother Theresa
  • The Joy of Living by Yongey Mingyur Rinpoche
  • Let Your LIfe Speak by Parker Palmer
  • Zen and the Art of Saving the Planet by Thich Nhat Hanh
  • The Essence of the Upanishads by Eknath Easwaran
  • Welcoming the Unwelcome by Pema Chodron
  • Braiding Sweetgrass by Robin Wall Kimmerer
  • Medicine Cards: The Discovery of Power Through The Ways Of Animals by Jamie Sams and David Carson

What Will We Become?

Ever Changing: Lake Superior
©Janis Dehler
He led his country to war and
gave the order to fire on innocents.
Who is he now?

She played her piano before fleeing
her home, now in rubble.
Who is she now?

He wept as he recognized in a photo
his wife and children, dead from a missile.
Who is he now?

She stayed when others fled,
picking up a gun for the first time.
Who is she now?

He played his violin in an underground 
shelter accompanied by the world.
Who is he now?

She gave birth and died with her baby
when struck by a bomb.
Who are they now?

He guided and inspired his country 
when all thought he was weak.
Who is he now?

She stood before her country
and told the truth about the war.
Who is she now?

Where we saw corruption,
we now see determination.

Where we saw weakness,
we now see strength.

While we witness hate, 
we also see love.

Where we see fear, 
we now find courage.

We weep, we cry, “Enough! This can’t be.”
Yet it is, and we watch.
Who are we now?

Like the ripples in this lake before me,
everything has consequence,
nothing happens without reverberation.

What will we become?


©Janis Dehler

“Justice is hiding out in a shelter somewhere, wounded, her head in her hands, but not yet beaten down.”

Jacqueline Winspear, The Consequences of Fear

I suppose the sad truth is that war can cause a heart to break, both literally and figuratively.”

Jacqueline Winspear, The Consequences of Fear

“Courage is a heart word. The root of the word courage is cor—the Latin word for heart. In one of its earliest forms, the word courage meant ‘To speak one’s mind by telling all one’s heart.’ Speaking from our hearts is what I think of as ‘ordinary courage.’

I Thought It Was Just Me by Brene Brown

Ongoing Resource List

  • The Gene Keys: Emracing Your Higher Purpose by Riuchard Rudd
  • Your Brain on Art: How the Arts Inform Us by Susan Magsamen and Ivy Ross
  • A New Earth by Eckhart Tolle
  • Energy Speaks: Messages from Spirit on Living, Loving, and Awakening by Lee Harris
  • Breaking the Habit of Being Yourself: How to Lose Your Mind and Create an New One by Dr. Joe Dispenza
  • The Women by Kristin Hannah
  • Cosmogenesis: An Unveiling of the Expanding Universe by Brian Thomas Swimme
  • The Mastery of Love, Don Miguel Ruiz
  • Change Your Thoughts—Change Your Life: Living the Wisdom of the Tao, by Dr. Wayne W. Dyer
  • God of Love: A Guide to the Heart of Judaism, Christianity, and Islam, by Mirabai Starr
  • The Four Agreements: A Toltec Book of Wisdom by Don Miguel Ruiz
  • Mindfulness and Grief by Heather Stang
  • How We Live Is How We Die by Pema Chödron
  • The Bhagavad Gita, Translated by Eknath Easwaran
  • St Francis of Assisi: Brother of Creation by Mirabai Starr
  • Wild Wisdom Edited by Neil Douglas-Klotz
  • Earth Prayers From Around The World, Ed by Elizabeth Roberts & Elias Amidon
  • The Tao of Relationships by Ray Grigg
  • Anam Cara: A Book of Celtic Wisdom by John O’Donohue
  • Unconditional Love and Forgiveness by Edith R. Stauffer, Ph.D.
  • Keep Going: The Art of Perseverance by Joseph M. Marshall III
  • Art & Fear by David Bayless & Ted Orland
  • Quantum-Touch by Richard Gordon
  • The Van Gogh Blues: The Creative Persons Path Through Depression by Eric Maisel, PhD
  • The Faraway Nearby by Rebecca Solnit
  • Amazing Grace: A Vocabulary of Faith by Kathleen Norris
  • Forever Ours: Real Stories of Immortality and Living by Janis Amatuzio
  • Personal Power Through Awareness by Sanaya Roman
  • Violence & Compassion by His Holiness the Dahlai Lama
  • Teachings on Love by Thich Nhat Hanh
  • Devotions by Mary Oliver
  • To Bless the Space Between Us by John O’Donohue
  • Meditations From the Mat by Rolf Gates and Katrina Kenison
  • The House of Belonging: poems by David Whyte
  • Full Catastrophe Living: Using the Wisdom of Your Body and Mind to Face Stress, Pain and Illness, by Jon Kabat-Zinn
  • The Faraway Nearby by Rebecca Solnit
  • Soul an Archaeology Edited by Phil Cousineau
  • A Path With Heart by Jack Kornfield
  • Listening Point by Sigurd Olson
  • I Sit Listening to the Wind by Judith Duerk
  • Dancing Moons by Nancy Wood
  • The Soul of Rumi, Translations by Coleman Barks
  • Keep Going by Joseph M. Marshall III
  • Arriving at your own Door by Jon Kabat-Zinn
  • The Untethered Soul by Michael Singer
  • The Hidden Secrets of Water by Paolo Consigli
  • Conquest of Mind by Eknath Easwaran
  • Color: A Natural History of the Palette by Victoria Finlay
  • Peace is Every Step by Thich Nhat Hanh
  • I Thought It Was Just Me (But It Isn’t) by Brene Brown
  • Practicing Peace in Times of War by Pema Chodron
  • When Things Fall Apart by Pema Chodron
  • On Death and Dying by Elizabeth Kubler-Ross
  • Unattended Sorrow by Stephen Levine
  • Joy in Loving, Mother Theresa
  • The Joy of Living by Yongey Mingyur Rinpoche
  • Let Your LIfe Speak by Parker Palmer
  • Zen and the Art of Saving the Planet by Thich Nhat Hanh
  • The Essence of the Upanishads by Eknath Easwaran
  • Welcoming the Unwelcome by Pema Chodron
  • Braiding Sweetgrass by Robin Wall Kimmerer
  • Medicine Cards: The Discovery of Power Through The Ways Of Animals by Jamie Sams and David Carson

When We Grow Weary

Pick Me! I am Beautiful
When I grow weary of the people world,
I turn and look out the windows toward the river.
There is generally a party going on and
Blue Jay is the organizer.

My laughter comes shortly after a freshly fallen snow
with the ground trampled looking like 
a troop of step dancers gave a performance,
coming from every direction. 

Deer are the pre party arrivals
eating the leftovers from yesterday’s fete.
Preferring to graze in peace, they
wander up from the river, a well warn trail.

Blue Jay takes position at the feeder
flicking out one sunflower seed 
after another. The pile beneath him grows.
The call goes out. The festivities commence.

Squirrels are the first to arrive,
half a dozen or more happily noshing on
all that Jay offers. Now a dozen turkeys
skuttle in, not ones to miss out on a giveaway.

The gathering brings out flirting as the 
Spring mating season begins.
A bit of heckling breaks out with two turkeys
chasing in circles around the feeder pole. 

A proud puff of feathers emerges, 
a strutting competition as faces turn blue. 
Expressing lack of interest, the female turns her back,
then leaves the party early for the neighbor’s yard.

We spy a new rabbit enjoying 
a nibble next to Cardinal. Fox has
not been invited but one never knows 
when she might slither in and crash an event.

Finches, chickadees, and woodpeckers, 
guests that prefer the food served 
in an upper tier, tussle amongst 
themselves for space. 

From this view, I feel laughter, calm,
playful, curious, kinship, and joy.
No words needed. 
Simply being in the life before me.

I turn back to the people world, 
refreshed and ready to meet the day.

“Look deep into nature and then you will understand everything better.”

Albert Einstein

“There is pleasure in the pathless woods, there is rapture in the lonely shore, there is society where none intrudes, by the deep sea, and music in its roar; I love not Man the less, but Nature more.”

Lord Byron

“…Content is the wealth of nature.”

Socrates

On Going Resource List

  • The Gene Keys: Emracing Your Higher Purpose by Riuchard Rudd
  • Your Brain on Art: How the Arts Inform Us by Susan Magsamen and Ivy Ross
  • A New Earth by Eckhart Tolle
  • Energy Speaks: Messages from Spirit on Living, Loving, and Awakening by Lee Harris
  • Breaking the Habit of Being Yourself: How to Lose Your Mind and Create an New One by Dr. Joe Dispenza
  • The Women by Kristin Hannah
  • Cosmogenesis: An Unveiling of the Expanding Universe by Brian Thomas Swimme
  • The Mastery of Love, Don Miguel Ruiz
  • Change Your Thoughts—Change Your Life: Living the Wisdom of the Tao, by Dr. Wayne W. Dyer
  • God of Love: A Guide to the Heart of Judaism, Christianity, and Islam, by Mirabai Starr
  • The Four Agreements: A Toltec Book of Wisdom by Don Miguel Ruiz
  • Mindfulness and Grief by Heather Stang
  • How We Live Is How We Die by Pema Chödron
  • The Bhagavad Gita, Translated by Eknath Easwaran
  • St Francis of Assisi: Brother of Creation by Mirabai Starr
  • Wild Wisdom Edited by Neil Douglas-Klotz
  • Earth Prayers From Around The World, Ed by Elizabeth Roberts & Elias Amidon
  • The Tao of Relationships by Ray Grigg
  • Anam Cara: A Book of Celtic Wisdom by John O’Donohue
  • Unconditional Love and Forgiveness by Edith R. Stauffer, Ph.D.
  • Keep Going: The Art of Perseverance by Joseph M. Marshall III
  • Art & Fear by David Bayless & Ted Orland
  • Quantum-Touch by Richard Gordon
  • The Van Gogh Blues: The Creative Persons Path Through Depression by Eric Maisel, PhD
  • The Faraway Nearby by Rebecca Solnit
  • Amazing Grace: A Vocabulary of Faith by Kathleen Norris
  • Forever Ours: Real Stories of Immortality and Living by Janis Amatuzio
  • Personal Power Through Awareness by Sanaya Roman
  • Violence & Compassion by His Holiness the Dahlai Lama
  • Teachings on Love by Thich Nhat Hanh
  • Devotions by Mary Oliver
  • To Bless the Space Between Us by John O’Donohue
  • Meditations From the Mat by Rolf Gates and Katrina Kenison
  • The House of Belonging: poems by David Whyte
  • Full Catastrophe Living: Using the Wisdom of Your Body and Mind to Face Stress, Pain and Illness, by Jon Kabat-Zinn
  • The Faraway Nearby by Rebecca Solnit
  • Soul an Archaeology Edited by Phil Cousineau
  • A Path With Heart by Jack Kornfield
  • Listening Point by Sigurd Olson
  • I Sit Listening to the Wind by Judith Duerk
  • Dancing Moons by Nancy Wood
  • The Soul of Rumi, Translations by Coleman Barks
  • Keep Going by Joseph M. Marshall III
  • Arriving at your own Door by Jon Kabat-Zinn
  • The Untethered Soul by Michael Singer
  • The Hidden Secrets of Water by Paolo Consigli
  • Conquest of Mind by Eknath Easwaran
  • Color: A Natural History of the Palette by Victoria Finlay
  • Peace is Every Step by Thich Nhat Hanh
  • I Thought It Was Just Me (But It Isn’t) by Brene Brown
  • Practicing Peace in Times of War by Pema Chodron
  • When Things Fall Apart by Pema Chodron
  • On Death and Dying by Elizabeth Kubler-Ross
  • Unattended Sorrow by Stephen Levine
  • Joy in Loving, Mother Theresa
  • The Joy of Living by Yongey Mingyur Rinpoche
  • Let Your LIfe Speak by Parker Palmer
  • Zen and the Art of Saving the Planet by Thich Nhat Hanh
  • The Essence of the Upanishads by Eknath Easwaran
  • Welcoming the Unwelcome by Pema Chodron
  • Braiding Sweetgrass by Robin Wall Kimmerer
  • Medicine Cards: The Discovery of Power Through The Ways Of Animals by Jamie Sams and David Carson

Living Through Historical Events

Into The Depths by Janis Dehler

“I am tired of living through historical events.”

Oscar Mills, age 15

I think we can all say, “Amen” to that. The thing about historic events, however, is that they are a fact of life; they just keep coming. We all remember the historic events we have lived through over the years. My parents’ generation with the Great Depression and World War II. My generation lived through the Cuban Missile Crisis, the killings of our president, John F. Kennedy, as well as the Civil Rights Movement, the killings of Martin Luther King and Bobby Kennedy, the shootings of protesters, and the Vietnam War. Now, we are just barely holding our head up after moving into our third year of a global pandemic, life turned upside down, isolation, death, and uncertainty and the politicization of a virus. We find we are holding our breath as we watch an invasion into Ukraine played out on our screens with the threat of nuclear war. We feel pain and heartache watching others suffer the devastation of war by an ever-threatening aggressor.

We have all lived through historic events be they personal, national, or global. They happen in the day-to-day course of life, the sudden death of a beloved, the sudden loss of a job, home, finances, faith, when all seems turned upside down and we have lost our grounding. In a day, one can wake up and find life routines and structure halted and a sense of security shaken to the core.

The Oscar quote was stated at our dinner table last Friday night after many fun light conversations that ultimately turned to the big one, World War III. This fifteen-year-old grandson is tired of years of isolation, prep for the threat of school shootings, police shootings, and now war with a much wider global implication. The people of Ukraine are tired and fearful. The world order is shifting and there is uncertainty. I have readers in Ukraine and my heart goes out to them. I have readers in Russia, and I send them care and concern as well. Those with the least suffer from the actions of the powerful.

When things fall apart, we might feel angry, fearful, confused, under great stress, agitation, and yes, tired. The challenge and the choice are in how we deal with the feelings. People are searching for targets for their emotions. I learned yesterday that an iconic restaurant in St. Paul, Moscow on the Hill, which first opened in 1994, is now being targeted with hate and death threats and being told they need to change their name. The Russian Museum of Art in Minneapolis is trying to get people to understand that they also stand with Ukraine as many in Ukraine have family in Russia. When we spew hate on our neighbor, we are no better than the one who made the decision to plummet Ukraine.

This same grandson at age eight chose a different way. When asked how he was handling the late term miscarriage of his awaited for baby brother or sister, he said, “I just keep moving forward until I can’t move forward anymore, then I wait, until I can move forward again.”He defined his way of moving through grief and loss.

The wisdom of an eight-year-old is what we need to heed today, we keep moving forward, then rest, then move forward. It is what we can do. Focus on what is before us, family, friends, work, our purpose in life. Pause, pay attention, reflect, feel our grief, then move. If we sit too long the anger and the fear and the feelings of hopelessness can rise and claim us, fester, and move into action against another. If we sit too long, we might turn the feelings inward and feel paralyzed in inaction.

Today, the sun rises whether we see it or not. We keep doing what we can do, in kindness, compassion, and with an open heart.

“Life is one big road with lots of signs. So, when you ride through the ruts, don’t complicate your mind. Flee from hate, mischief, and jealousy. Don’t bury your thoughts, put your vision to reality. Wake Up and Live!”

Bob Marley
The Flow of Compassion by Janis Dehler

On Going Resource List

  • The Gene Keys: Emracing Your Higher Purpose by Riuchard Rudd
  • Your Brain on Art: How the Arts Inform Us by Susan Magsamen and Ivy Ross
  • A New Earth by Eckhart Tolle
  • Energy Speaks: Messages from Spirit on Living, Loving, and Awakening by Lee Harris
  • Breaking the Habit of Being Yourself: How to Lose Your Mind and Create an New One by Dr. Joe Dispenza
  • The Women by Kristin Hannah
  • Cosmogenesis: An Unveiling of the Expanding Universe by Brian Thomas Swimme
  • The Mastery of Love, Don Miguel Ruiz
  • Change Your Thoughts—Change Your Life: Living the Wisdom of the Tao, by Dr. Wayne W. Dyer
  • God of Love: A Guide to the Heart of Judaism, Christianity, and Islam, by Mirabai Starr
  • The Four Agreements: A Toltec Book of Wisdom by Don Miguel Ruiz
  • Mindfulness and Grief by Heather Stang
  • How We Live Is How We Die by Pema Chödron
  • The Bhagavad Gita, Translated by Eknath Easwaran
  • St Francis of Assisi: Brother of Creation by Mirabai Starr
  • Wild Wisdom Edited by Neil Douglas-Klotz
  • Earth Prayers From Around The World, Ed by Elizabeth Roberts & Elias Amidon
  • The Tao of Relationships by Ray Grigg
  • Anam Cara: A Book of Celtic Wisdom by John O’Donohue
  • Unconditional Love and Forgiveness by Edith R. Stauffer, Ph.D.
  • Keep Going: The Art of Perseverance by Joseph M. Marshall III
  • Art & Fear by David Bayless & Ted Orland
  • Quantum-Touch by Richard Gordon
  • The Van Gogh Blues: The Creative Persons Path Through Depression by Eric Maisel, PhD
  • The Faraway Nearby by Rebecca Solnit
  • Amazing Grace: A Vocabulary of Faith by Kathleen Norris
  • Forever Ours: Real Stories of Immortality and Living by Janis Amatuzio
  • Personal Power Through Awareness by Sanaya Roman
  • Violence & Compassion by His Holiness the Dahlai Lama
  • Teachings on Love by Thich Nhat Hanh
  • Devotions by Mary Oliver
  • To Bless the Space Between Us by John O’Donohue
  • Meditations From the Mat by Rolf Gates and Katrina Kenison
  • The House of Belonging: poems by David Whyte
  • Full Catastrophe Living: Using the Wisdom of Your Body and Mind to Face Stress, Pain and Illness, by Jon Kabat-Zinn
  • The Faraway Nearby by Rebecca Solnit
  • Soul an Archaeology Edited by Phil Cousineau
  • A Path With Heart by Jack Kornfield
  • Listening Point by Sigurd Olson
  • I Sit Listening to the Wind by Judith Duerk
  • Dancing Moons by Nancy Wood
  • The Soul of Rumi, Translations by Coleman Barks
  • Keep Going by Joseph M. Marshall III
  • Arriving at your own Door by Jon Kabat-Zinn
  • The Untethered Soul by Michael Singer
  • The Hidden Secrets of Water by Paolo Consigli
  • Conquest of Mind by Eknath Easwaran
  • Color: A Natural History of the Palette by Victoria Finlay
  • Peace is Every Step by Thich Nhat Hanh
  • I Thought It Was Just Me (But It Isn’t) by Brene Brown
  • Practicing Peace in Times of War by Pema Chodron
  • When Things Fall Apart by Pema Chodron
  • On Death and Dying by Elizabeth Kubler-Ross
  • Unattended Sorrow by Stephen Levine
  • Joy in Loving, Mother Theresa
  • The Joy of Living by Yongey Mingyur Rinpoche
  • Let Your LIfe Speak by Parker Palmer
  • Zen and the Art of Saving the Planet by Thich Nhat Hanh
  • The Essence of the Upanishads by Eknath Easwaran
  • Welcoming the Unwelcome by Pema Chodron
  • Braiding Sweetgrass by Robin Wall Kimmerer
  • Medicine Cards: The Discovery of Power Through The Ways Of Animals by Jamie Sams and David Carson

A Death and a Duchess

Life in a new day

I met her after the death, after she was found, arms wrapped around her son’s lifeless body, dead for three days.

The location where the pair were found was a residential hotel in a destitute area of downtown Minneapolis, he dead from malnutrition, she clinging to life and yes, death. With no food or water, her senses dulled, the odor of his death becoming her own with the line of separation melting as they become one, waiting for the grave. She wanted and hoped that she would die with her son, but it was not to be as other tenants smelled the demise and authorities whisked her away.

Her room was one room with a bed shoved against the wall, papers strewn about, filth evident everywhere. This was my job in the mid to late 80’s, the social service arm of a private attorney managing guardianships for those who could no longer make reasonable decisions for their care. Now, discovered, Dora came under his management and my concern. Generally, I felt good about the work I was doing, the help I could provide people who could not cope on their own.

I next saw Dora in a stark room with shiny linoleum floor and bare cream-colored walls with light streaming in through the window. This cleanliness defied the smell that assaulted me as I entered with a fan blowing the putrid smell of urine and feces into my face. I saw her sitting in her wheelchair, a toothless grin on her face, cat eye rimmed glasses, thick yellow greying hair pulled back in a ponytail, emaciated from the lack of food, nothing more than a towel covering her bare bottom. I wondered, how have you survived?

The nurses expressed frustration, and I had agreed to talk to Dora about her behavior. I had brought with me a few of her worldly possessions that rested in our storage in four plastic bags and two large boxes. The lot of it mainly containing bits of paper, her son’s manuscript, old plastic bags, one dress, a sweater, a few cooking utensils, and a picture.

We reenter a discussion we had on my last visit:

Me: Dora, I understand you are still urinating in cups.

Dora gives me a nervous laugh and a look of insult.

Me: The nurses tell me you won’t use the toilet.
Dora: No, I won’t. It’s dirty. I can’t sit on it.

Me: I looked, Dora, and the toilet and bathroom are clean. I understand you go to the toilet in your chair or in paper cups and put them in drawers.
Dora: I don’t do that. Whoever told you that is lying. I need to live in a place where I can work on my son’s book. It is all I have left of him. 

I sigh as I focus my gaze out the window.

Me: Dora, I am tired of the same conversation and having to come over and check on you for not using the toilet.
Dora: You know they have no right to treat me this way, I am a Duchess. I have the papers to prove it. They are at my nephews. And my niece is Bette Midler

Me: Yes, Dora, I saw the mail order papers declaring you a Duchess of a nonexistent nation. 
Dora: I am on a cardiac diet. I can’t eat what they give me; it breaks my veins. I need to live alone in a hotel so I can get my meals at a restaurant and order what I like.

I listen, let Dora vent, and realize that all she is asking for is what we all desire, the freedom to choose, to live life as we want to live, believe what we want to believe. I wish for Dora to have this freedom, make choices that I might not make, and let her be. I wish for her that she could live in her own room under her own decision making, that she is a Duchess, work on her son’s manuscript, eat or not eat, as she chooses. It is what we all want. I have seen her son’s manuscript and wish for her that it was more than reams of undecipherable numbers and letters and symbols and squiggly lines.

In this moment, as I look around this room, smell the putrid smells, listen to the ramble of words, I wonder, what pain in your life brought you to this, Dora? What life events, circumstances, brought you to see this as a reality, to accept this as a life? And I realize, peeing in cups and hiding them is her effort at taking control of her life in whatever way possible.

I tell this story because it stayed with me through the years as a moment of truly seeing that at our core, we are all the same. We were both born with different tendencies, DNA, and life circumstances but in our humanity, Dora, and I both fiercely loved our children, both had thoughts that created our life, did things out of habit with some becoming an obsession, both wanted love and pleasure and avoided pain as best we could. To a more or lesser degree, we both believed our thoughts rather than letting them go.

Dora was the most challenging client I had encountered during those four years and the best teacher. There was not much I could offer her, but she was now in a place that could provide her with medication, psychiatric services, a place to grieve her losses, and maybe a move into a healthier future. Sitting with her, I felt more firmly committed to the course I had set in motion and was preparing for, wanting to work with individuals earlier in their healing process.

Dora taught me, get your thoughts in order, heal your losses, open your heart, make peace. It is the only path to truly live in freedom.

“…grief and the spirit were the two common denominators, the two underlying characteristics of all people, the ever present potential for hell or heaven at any moment.”

Stephen Levine, Unattended Sorrow

“Freedom is not worth having if it does not include the freedom to make mistakes.” 

Mahatma Ghandi

And, one of my favorites:

“The truth will set you free, but first it will piss you off.” 

Joe Klaas, Twelve Steps to Happiness

On Going Resource List

  • The Gene Keys: Emracing Your Higher Purpose by Riuchard Rudd
  • Your Brain on Art: How the Arts Inform Us by Susan Magsamen and Ivy Ross
  • A New Earth by Eckhart Tolle
  • Energy Speaks: Messages from Spirit on Living, Loving, and Awakening by Lee Harris
  • Breaking the Habit of Being Yourself: How to Lose Your Mind and Create an New One by Dr. Joe Dispenza
  • The Women by Kristin Hannah
  • Cosmogenesis: An Unveiling of the Expanding Universe by Brian Thomas Swimme
  • The Mastery of Love, Don Miguel Ruiz
  • Change Your Thoughts—Change Your Life: Living the Wisdom of the Tao, by Dr. Wayne W. Dyer
  • God of Love: A Guide to the Heart of Judaism, Christianity, and Islam, by Mirabai Starr
  • The Four Agreements: A Toltec Book of Wisdom by Don Miguel Ruiz
  • Mindfulness and Grief by Heather Stang
  • How We Live Is How We Die by Pema Chödron
  • The Bhagavad Gita, Translated by Eknath Easwaran
  • St Francis of Assisi: Brother of Creation by Mirabai Starr
  • Wild Wisdom Edited by Neil Douglas-Klotz
  • Earth Prayers From Around The World, Ed by Elizabeth Roberts & Elias Amidon
  • The Tao of Relationships by Ray Grigg
  • Anam Cara: A Book of Celtic Wisdom by John O’Donohue
  • Unconditional Love and Forgiveness by Edith R. Stauffer, Ph.D.
  • Keep Going: The Art of Perseverance by Joseph M. Marshall III
  • Art & Fear by David Bayless & Ted Orland
  • Quantum-Touch by Richard Gordon
  • The Van Gogh Blues: The Creative Persons Path Through Depression by Eric Maisel, PhD
  • The Faraway Nearby by Rebecca Solnit
  • Amazing Grace: A Vocabulary of Faith by Kathleen Norris
  • Forever Ours: Real Stories of Immortality and Living by Janis Amatuzio
  • Personal Power Through Awareness by Sanaya Roman
  • Violence & Compassion by His Holiness the Dahlai Lama
  • Teachings on Love by Thich Nhat Hanh
  • Devotions by Mary Oliver
  • To Bless the Space Between Us by John O’Donohue
  • Meditations From the Mat by Rolf Gates and Katrina Kenison
  • The House of Belonging: poems by David Whyte
  • Full Catastrophe Living: Using the Wisdom of Your Body and Mind to Face Stress, Pain and Illness, by Jon Kabat-Zinn
  • The Faraway Nearby by Rebecca Solnit
  • Soul an Archaeology Edited by Phil Cousineau
  • A Path With Heart by Jack Kornfield
  • Listening Point by Sigurd Olson
  • I Sit Listening to the Wind by Judith Duerk
  • Dancing Moons by Nancy Wood
  • The Soul of Rumi, Translations by Coleman Barks
  • Keep Going by Joseph M. Marshall III
  • Arriving at your own Door by Jon Kabat-Zinn
  • The Untethered Soul by Michael Singer
  • The Hidden Secrets of Water by Paolo Consigli
  • Conquest of Mind by Eknath Easwaran
  • Color: A Natural History of the Palette by Victoria Finlay
  • Peace is Every Step by Thich Nhat Hanh
  • I Thought It Was Just Me (But It Isn’t) by Brene Brown
  • Practicing Peace in Times of War by Pema Chodron
  • When Things Fall Apart by Pema Chodron
  • On Death and Dying by Elizabeth Kubler-Ross
  • Unattended Sorrow by Stephen Levine
  • Joy in Loving, Mother Theresa
  • The Joy of Living by Yongey Mingyur Rinpoche
  • Let Your LIfe Speak by Parker Palmer
  • Zen and the Art of Saving the Planet by Thich Nhat Hanh
  • The Essence of the Upanishads by Eknath Easwaran
  • Welcoming the Unwelcome by Pema Chodron
  • Braiding Sweetgrass by Robin Wall Kimmerer
  • Medicine Cards: The Discovery of Power Through The Ways Of Animals by Jamie Sams and David Carson

Breakfast With a Vixen

The Vixen
She appears early Sunday morning.
We have not even had breakfast, 
not known she was coming,
nor that she was even in the neighborhood.

I spy her in a glance, 
contemplating her meal
displayed on a stark white table
as she circles and readies herself.

Stunning in rust orange fur coat
set off with black stockings, she
reeks with pride, confidence, 
and desire for the meal before her.

We wonder what she is serving this morning,
Is it squirrel or rabbit? We hope for squirrel–
tastes like chicken they say–
but she has opted for rabbit, our last one.

She gives us a long penetrating look,
knowing our presence, not 10 feet.
Teaching us about observation, 
Watch, I will show you.

This fox’s cunning got her this feast, 
swiftness surprised her prey–
our rabbit friend, who from window I had watched
and wondered at her fear as she hunkered so.

We contemplate this raw scene,
marvel at our good fortune to perceive,
do not fault this beauty today 
as she has hunger to fill and duty to provide.

We bow to this death, now giving life.
Choice morsels eaten first–
the heart, the entrails, the warm juicy prime bits.–
fox and rabbit unite.

She shifts to a polite finish, 
washes her face in wet snow,
struggles to seek purchase of that which remains,
finds it and holds tight.

Family is now her concern, so
with a mere glance of farewell, 
rabbit in her jaws, trotts lightly off to the west  
as only a vixen can.

Crow perches near in wait for leftovers, 
but she has cleaned her plate, 
nothing remains.
Her presence found only in the telling.

©Janis Dehler
Photo: Janis Dehler

“I told her once I wasn’t good at anything. She told me survival is a talent.” 

Susanna Kaysen, Girl, Interrupted

“That which is alive hath known death, and that which is dead can never die, for in the Circle of the Spirit life is naught and death is naught. Yea, all things live forever, though at times they sleep and are forgotten.”

H. Rider Haggard, She: A History of Adventure

To read more about our rabbit friend, click the link below: http://janisdehler.com/2022/01/09/resilience-in-frigid-days/

Even in the bitter cold, the sun is shining longer and the scent of spring wafts in the air. Friends are buying seeds for planting while I take time off from my January writing frenzy to clean and clear, having made space within, and now without.

On Going Resource List

  • The Gene Keys: Emracing Your Higher Purpose by Riuchard Rudd
  • Your Brain on Art: How the Arts Inform Us by Susan Magsamen and Ivy Ross
  • A New Earth by Eckhart Tolle
  • Energy Speaks: Messages from Spirit on Living, Loving, and Awakening by Lee Harris
  • Breaking the Habit of Being Yourself: How to Lose Your Mind and Create an New One by Dr. Joe Dispenza
  • The Women by Kristin Hannah
  • Cosmogenesis: An Unveiling of the Expanding Universe by Brian Thomas Swimme
  • The Mastery of Love, Don Miguel Ruiz
  • Change Your Thoughts—Change Your Life: Living the Wisdom of the Tao, by Dr. Wayne W. Dyer
  • God of Love: A Guide to the Heart of Judaism, Christianity, and Islam, by Mirabai Starr
  • The Four Agreements: A Toltec Book of Wisdom by Don Miguel Ruiz
  • Mindfulness and Grief by Heather Stang
  • How We Live Is How We Die by Pema Chödron
  • The Bhagavad Gita, Translated by Eknath Easwaran
  • St Francis of Assisi: Brother of Creation by Mirabai Starr
  • Wild Wisdom Edited by Neil Douglas-Klotz
  • Earth Prayers From Around The World, Ed by Elizabeth Roberts & Elias Amidon
  • The Tao of Relationships by Ray Grigg
  • Anam Cara: A Book of Celtic Wisdom by John O’Donohue
  • Unconditional Love and Forgiveness by Edith R. Stauffer, Ph.D.
  • Keep Going: The Art of Perseverance by Joseph M. Marshall III
  • Art & Fear by David Bayless & Ted Orland
  • Quantum-Touch by Richard Gordon
  • The Van Gogh Blues: The Creative Persons Path Through Depression by Eric Maisel, PhD
  • The Faraway Nearby by Rebecca Solnit
  • Amazing Grace: A Vocabulary of Faith by Kathleen Norris
  • Forever Ours: Real Stories of Immortality and Living by Janis Amatuzio
  • Personal Power Through Awareness by Sanaya Roman
  • Violence & Compassion by His Holiness the Dahlai Lama
  • Teachings on Love by Thich Nhat Hanh
  • Devotions by Mary Oliver
  • To Bless the Space Between Us by John O’Donohue
  • Meditations From the Mat by Rolf Gates and Katrina Kenison
  • The House of Belonging: poems by David Whyte
  • Full Catastrophe Living: Using the Wisdom of Your Body and Mind to Face Stress, Pain and Illness, by Jon Kabat-Zinn
  • The Faraway Nearby by Rebecca Solnit
  • Soul an Archaeology Edited by Phil Cousineau
  • A Path With Heart by Jack Kornfield
  • Listening Point by Sigurd Olson
  • I Sit Listening to the Wind by Judith Duerk
  • Dancing Moons by Nancy Wood
  • The Soul of Rumi, Translations by Coleman Barks
  • Keep Going by Joseph M. Marshall III
  • Arriving at your own Door by Jon Kabat-Zinn
  • The Untethered Soul by Michael Singer
  • The Hidden Secrets of Water by Paolo Consigli
  • Conquest of Mind by Eknath Easwaran
  • Color: A Natural History of the Palette by Victoria Finlay
  • Peace is Every Step by Thich Nhat Hanh
  • I Thought It Was Just Me (But It Isn’t) by Brene Brown
  • Practicing Peace in Times of War by Pema Chodron
  • When Things Fall Apart by Pema Chodron
  • On Death and Dying by Elizabeth Kubler-Ross
  • Unattended Sorrow by Stephen Levine
  • Joy in Loving, Mother Theresa
  • The Joy of Living by Yongey Mingyur Rinpoche
  • Let Your LIfe Speak by Parker Palmer
  • Zen and the Art of Saving the Planet by Thich Nhat Hanh
  • The Essence of the Upanishads by Eknath Easwaran
  • Welcoming the Unwelcome by Pema Chodron
  • Braiding Sweetgrass by Robin Wall Kimmerer
  • Medicine Cards: The Discovery of Power Through The Ways Of Animals by Jamie Sams and David Carson

The Journey to BE

El Camino: Entering the Calm
by Janis Dehler

The wonderful irony about this spiritual journey is that we find that it only leads us to become just as we are. The exalted state of enlightenment is nothing more than fully knowing ourselves and our world, just as we are.

Pema Chodron, Welcoming the Unwelcome

…the whole modern world has been laboring under this one colossal superstition – that we are not what we are, and are what we really are not… It is no exaggeration to say that if civilization is to survive, this false idea of personality has to be abandoned…we have to disidentify ourselves with this shadow image and learn to identify ourselves completely with the Self. 

Eknath Easwaran, The Essence of the Upanishads

My first response to Pema Chodron’s quote was laughter. Yes, the irony of it all and how hard I worked for more than half my life trying to figure out the big mystery of “how”. How to be all that is good. How to be all that is perfect. How to be all that is someone, wife, mother, friend, daughter. As everyone born into this world, I learned about living from family and society, how to get along, how to cover up my faults, how to fill the many roles we take on, and in the end, believing that this me just needed to be better. I learned to see others through this distorted window as well, seeing them in my version of them while they were seeing me in their version of me. 

A memory is triggered in the quote of Pema Chodron from the year 2001 while visiting my daughter in Boulder, Colorado. This was a period in my life with a good amount of change, empty nest, career moves, trying to know the me outside the roles I had taken on— all the versions of me. I made an appointment with a gifted astrologer, a teacher of my daughter, a young man from Israel who continues to be a friend and a wisdom figure. As we talked through what I was struggling with in feeling not enough, disconnected, the heartaches formed over the years, he simply said to me in his kind and caring manner, “Simply be you. Let the light and beauty within you shine.” My response to this man who in those two sentences seemed to be speaking in a foreign language was, “But how do I do that? I don’t know how!” 

I see that younger me now and in my best Scottish accent (I have been watching way too many British shows) I say to that me, “Are ye daft, child?” At that time, in his kindness, after a pause of reflection, he offered, “There is no ‘how’, there is only, ‘be’.” I went away befuddled.

When it no longer works to live in roles and expectations, the beliefs that have not been fully questioned or opened to explore all come pouring out leaving us feeling empty, stripped of all the containers that we operate out of in our navigation of this world. There is no clear road map on how to unwind from all this learning and be, be me, whoever this me is beneath the one who knows the role and how to fill it. Just tell me what to do, A, B, or C. What is BE? To be or not to be, that is the question. To be or to how—that was my question! What I have come to know is that there is no blueprint, no how; I am the only me there is, and you are the only you. 

I wonder now what it would be like to be raised believing that it is not perfection we seek but rather our wholeness as spirits embodied in human flesh that we wish to unite with and open to. Our birthright. Our reason for being. Oneness with the Divine which is ultimately one with all life. So much energy is wasted with the feelings of blaming, judging, and lack, in self and other. For years, I created suffering around feeling not seen. In truth, I was not seeing me either, merely me in the roles I played.

While there is no blueprint or rules to follow and there is no right way or wrong or good or bad in this journey of BE, there are, surely enough, guideposts. Information in our spiritual traditions that help train us to enter quiet, to open our hearts, to center in our bodies, to be of service, to forgive, to feel compassion, and to build the metaphorical muscles needed to focus and to truly see and open full hearted to ourselves, our neighbor, the trees, the moon, the stars, those we disagree with, those who hurt or wound, and all that is within us that we have held in shame, hate, or dislike. 

At one time we were taught that what we think of as me, the personality, is constant. As with everything in life, rather than being constant we are in process as we learn, open, become consciously aware, and attain more freedom to choose. While we may tend to be abrupt, we learn to breathe first before responding. While we may appear intense, we learn to be calm as well. While we may be quiet by nature, we learn to speak up. While living a busy life we learn to sit in prayer or meditation. We can learn to see, face our fears, live with peace of mind, and be in compassion. Baby step by baby step we make our way beyond the learned behavior, roles, and attitudes to that place of goodness within each of us, learning to be and operate out of that, the core of our existence, one with all life, exactly as we are.

On a given day in our sitting practice, there are moments when we breathe in the vast vista before us and then there are moments when all we can see are thoughts running like a train load of boxcars, speeding across our view, laden with all the stuff of life, of the day, of then, when, and how, and we practice letting them all go. We then move into the duties of our day bringing freshness and life to the tasks at hand, not living a role, but creatively living each moment, in our lack of perfection, with purpose, and ease.

It is, it all is. This life. This love. This patience. It is this. 

Learning to ‘be’ can seem like an insurmountable task that we take on until the end of this life. It is dedicated hard work in its seemingly absurd simplicity, but we enter, keep going, seeing, learning, opening, and loving, just as we are.

In Memory of Thich Nhat Hanh, a wisdom figure who moved on from this world during this past week, who has brought healing awareness to me and so many, and will continue to live on through his teachings, books, and legacy, and the energy through which he so beautifully graced our world. I bow to you, Thay. 

Ongoing Resource List

  • The Gene Keys: Emracing Your Higher Purpose by Riuchard Rudd
  • Your Brain on Art: How the Arts Inform Us by Susan Magsamen and Ivy Ross
  • A New Earth by Eckhart Tolle
  • Energy Speaks: Messages from Spirit on Living, Loving, and Awakening by Lee Harris
  • Breaking the Habit of Being Yourself: How to Lose Your Mind and Create an New One by Dr. Joe Dispenza
  • The Women by Kristin Hannah
  • Cosmogenesis: An Unveiling of the Expanding Universe by Brian Thomas Swimme
  • The Mastery of Love, Don Miguel Ruiz
  • Change Your Thoughts—Change Your Life: Living the Wisdom of the Tao, by Dr. Wayne W. Dyer
  • God of Love: A Guide to the Heart of Judaism, Christianity, and Islam, by Mirabai Starr
  • The Four Agreements: A Toltec Book of Wisdom by Don Miguel Ruiz
  • Mindfulness and Grief by Heather Stang
  • How We Live Is How We Die by Pema Chödron
  • The Bhagavad Gita, Translated by Eknath Easwaran
  • St Francis of Assisi: Brother of Creation by Mirabai Starr
  • Wild Wisdom Edited by Neil Douglas-Klotz
  • Earth Prayers From Around The World, Ed by Elizabeth Roberts & Elias Amidon
  • The Tao of Relationships by Ray Grigg
  • Anam Cara: A Book of Celtic Wisdom by John O’Donohue
  • Unconditional Love and Forgiveness by Edith R. Stauffer, Ph.D.
  • Keep Going: The Art of Perseverance by Joseph M. Marshall III
  • Art & Fear by David Bayless & Ted Orland
  • Quantum-Touch by Richard Gordon
  • The Van Gogh Blues: The Creative Persons Path Through Depression by Eric Maisel, PhD
  • The Faraway Nearby by Rebecca Solnit
  • Amazing Grace: A Vocabulary of Faith by Kathleen Norris
  • Forever Ours: Real Stories of Immortality and Living by Janis Amatuzio
  • Personal Power Through Awareness by Sanaya Roman
  • Violence & Compassion by His Holiness the Dahlai Lama
  • Teachings on Love by Thich Nhat Hanh
  • Devotions by Mary Oliver
  • To Bless the Space Between Us by John O’Donohue
  • Meditations From the Mat by Rolf Gates and Katrina Kenison
  • The House of Belonging: poems by David Whyte
  • Full Catastrophe Living: Using the Wisdom of Your Body and Mind to Face Stress, Pain and Illness, by Jon Kabat-Zinn
  • The Faraway Nearby by Rebecca Solnit
  • Soul an Archaeology Edited by Phil Cousineau
  • A Path With Heart by Jack Kornfield
  • Listening Point by Sigurd Olson
  • I Sit Listening to the Wind by Judith Duerk
  • Dancing Moons by Nancy Wood
  • The Soul of Rumi, Translations by Coleman Barks
  • Keep Going by Joseph M. Marshall III
  • Arriving at your own Door by Jon Kabat-Zinn
  • The Untethered Soul by Michael Singer
  • The Hidden Secrets of Water by Paolo Consigli
  • Conquest of Mind by Eknath Easwaran
  • Color: A Natural History of the Palette by Victoria Finlay
  • Peace is Every Step by Thich Nhat Hanh
  • I Thought It Was Just Me (But It Isn’t) by Brene Brown
  • Practicing Peace in Times of War by Pema Chodron
  • When Things Fall Apart by Pema Chodron
  • On Death and Dying by Elizabeth Kubler-Ross
  • Unattended Sorrow by Stephen Levine
  • Joy in Loving, Mother Theresa
  • The Joy of Living by Yongey Mingyur Rinpoche
  • Let Your LIfe Speak by Parker Palmer
  • Zen and the Art of Saving the Planet by Thich Nhat Hanh
  • The Essence of the Upanishads by Eknath Easwaran
  • Welcoming the Unwelcome by Pema Chodron
  • Braiding Sweetgrass by Robin Wall Kimmerer
  • Medicine Cards: The Discovery of Power Through The Ways Of Animals by Jamie Sams and David Carson

Resilience in Frigid Days

As we create our worst images of life up ahead, we bring into form that which we dread.

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Rabbit Spirit

Scared Little Rabbit…  Please drop your fright!

Running doesn’t stop the pain, or turn the dark to light. 

Jamie Sams and David Carson, Medicine Cards
New Year’s Eve morn, -14 below, 
the world is awake, in gentle first glow. 
I look out the window, facing due west, 
the one at the sink where my eyes seek to rest. 
Now a view of the scruffy old pine and red oak
and the ground under cover, a downy white cloak.

In sight is a mound of rounded grey rock,
one that certainly is not part of our stock. 
It is large but not large and odd in shape. 
I stand steady and still and try not to gape, 
in wait, with focus, and vision unclouded,
a small movement twitch as two ears are sprouted.

The rock unfolds into rabbit, huddled in cold. 
He thinks unseen, like my once two-year-old, 
with eyes shut tight, he thought himself hidden.
Now this pine, low in needles, must be forgiven.
It offers little for shelter from mighty eagle;
a fragile net for his fears, so sadly feeble. 

Hour after hour, day after day, 
I check as rabbit sits in endless display.
Why are you here little one? Where is your home?
The spirit message dawns as I gaze at his form.
Fear turns us cold, rigid with fright, the
what if’s create fear for all, not yet in sight. 

As we create our worst images of life up ahead,
we bring into form that which we dread. 
We hide ourselves away from all that we love,
as we fear that the worst will pounce from above.
While fear of true danger is a friend in our day,
creating fear for our life keeps delight at bay.

On this day we acknowledge a list of our fears;
we write them, speak them, and bless with tears.          
We come into our breath and blow them away.
Sacred Source, take them, we cry, without delay!
Our truth is our guide and has always been so.
Our heart is relieved as now it can flow.

I will not fear for you. I will not fear for me. 
When ready inside, you will hop from this tree. 
On this new day of living, it is surely enough
to be present and strong with a will touched by  
  love.
We will persist. We will have changed.
With resilience through loss, we now feel 
  unchained.    

Today, you are off, if I am not deceived. 
Your message was given, and now received.





Spirit of Rabbit seemed to demand rhyme in telling his story, a first for me. Fun to write and fun to read, it kept me hopping through and through. Dr. Seus most certainly the Muse!

On Going Resource List

  • Jamie Sams and David Carson. Medicine Cards: The Discovery of Power Through The Ways of The Animals. Bear and Company, 1988.

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