The River of Sadhana

In a night vision, the meandering timeline of my life 
floats before me, like the river that flows past my house, 
winding its way south, touching here and there, while 
always moving in the direction of intent.

Challenges and joys that went before are seen,
as I float on to this moment. I see my learning 
and my fears, when, as a child, I do not understand.
I see confusion, tears, aloneness, transitions, 

moving in time, trying to find my way from there to here, 
with deaths, friends, shame, insecurities, curiosity.
I feel sadness and joy. I am a child, then a teen 
in my self-centered world, lacking awareness
 
and understanding. I see my marriage, my babies, 
the delight, the loss, their gifts to me. I see me, 
catapulted to awaken to my life, to shed old skin,
as I long to create, find purpose in being, alter perceptions. 

I enter deconstruction—spiritual crisis— and am stripped to bones. 
In newness, I am embraced. Through friendship, divine manifestation, 
love, compassion, forgiveness, and healing, I find I am enough. 
All the iterations of me.  All one. All love. 

Joys. Challenges. Acceptance. Strength. Understanding. 
In allowing and accepting, the way opens. Amma, holy one, 
names me—Sadhana, spiritual practice. This name guides me, 
as I seek to know the meaning. To accept my path. Learn to allow, 

to create, to accept light, to accept love.
I enter my day with the message: 
open arms, open heart, receive, give, be.
Be gentle. Be patient. Be love.

“Anything can become a spiritual practice once you are willing to approach it that way—once you let it bring you to your knees and show you what is real, including who you really are, who other people are, and how near God can be when you have lost your way.”

Barbara Brown Taylor, An Altar in the World: A Geography of Faith

“The goal of spiritual practice is full recovery, and the only thing you need to recover from is a fractured sense of self.”

Marianne Williamson

“Spiritual practice should not be confused with grim duty. It is the laughter of the Dalai Lama and the wonder born with every child.”

Jack Kornfield